case), and also some suggestions re rubrics. E.g., The "lying" seems to be
important (details below), but I wonder whether the rubric
MIND; LIAR (27) : alco., androc., arg-n., bell., calc., carb-v., caust.,
coca, con., cupr-acet., kola., lyc., lyss., med., merc., MORPH., nat-m.,
nux-v., Op., phos., puls., sil., staph., sulph., syph., thuj., Verat.
is complete, or the right rubric for the situation???
She does not seem to have any physical problems, except I think I've heard
menstrual cramps mentioned. She appears very healthy, has *plenty* of
energy. But -- read on!
YJ is a pretty, chatty, outgoing 16 year old. Pretty face (tubercular
shape?), sparkly eyes and cheerful, vivacious manner. (Sometimes subdued,
but not usually.)
In the past I tried Tub for her, on basis of (very inadequate casetaking
and) rather wild and (I thought) "adventure seeking"(?) behavior (and also
appearance, sparkly eyes!), but saw no effect at all. Now things have moved
along, and her sister gives a *much* filled in picture.
Mother worries about leaving YJ alone (e.g. to look after her younger
siblings, tho at 16 she ought to be "old enough"!) because of her wild (my
word) behavior. Last time the parents were away YJ had a bunch of kids over
for a drinking party, got (according to her sister YM) completely plastered,
had the (three younger) brothers locked in their rooms for the night (which
I guess is a good thing in this context!). Afterwards when the mother
confronted her, she denied the whole thing, even when faced with the
leftover stash of beer and an empty vodka bottle. YM does not know whether
drinking is a frequent thing, but thinks this wasn't the first time. (Tho
it was the first in her own house!)
If her sister's reporting (which I consider reliable!) and my understanding
are correct, it seems that she lies freely, frequently, and without any
apparent remorse or embarrassment. Sometimes her sister wonders whether she
YJ begins to believe her own lies. Some lies are for convenience (e.g.
denying something that she did), others seem to be for "entertainment" or
effect, maybe even just for whim, it seems.
Her behavior toward her sister YM has been *outrageous* right along -- e.g.
when we met them (four years ago) they shared a smallish room. The girls
had divided the room in half, as YJ is a "slob" and YM is rather neat. YJ
took the half of the room with the (double) bed in it, so YM slept on the
floor. (Why? Because YJ would throw fits if HM argued, and so it was
"easier...") YJ orders her siblings around very freely and forcefully,
taking and using whatever she wants of her sister's clothes and belongings
and taking advantage of her in a variety of creative ways (getting paid for
her sister's babysitting, etc.).
YJ is *very* strong-willed, accustomed to getting her way!!! If she's given
resistance, she pushes and pushes and pushes until she gets it. Or, with
sister and mother, she fusses and fusses and fusses, and if necessary yells
and screams and manipulates and sneaks -- until she prevails. Sadly, mom is
very mild, and not a match for her daughter, tho she's trying.
YJ spreads (and starts) rumors (e.g. has started telling people that her
brother uses pot, but this is apparently not true!); gossips freely and
apparently also embellishes at will.
She is "two-faced" -- will say bad things about her friend, talk as tho she
doesn't like her, doesn't want to be around her, but then act "all
buddy-buddy" when they are together, and continues to hang out with her a
lot. I asked YM (sister) whether she thought that the "bad talk" was just
for effect and YJ really likes the friend, or whether she really feels the
things she says but hangs out with her anyway? YM thinks it is the latter.
Last night while YM was here visiting my daughter, and YJ was home alone
(brothers elsewhere, Mom and Dad away), YJ phoned here a number of times,
trying to get YM to come home, then called back saying that YM's friend was
trying to reach her and she needed to call and come meet them. (Mom has
said that YJ is "afraid" to be home alone -- I don't know whether that's
specific to night, or whether she just hates to be alone, or ?? At any rate
she is *easily bored*!!!! Not a reader; restless; likes to be talking, in
the middle of things, seeks excitement, etc.)
YJ has complained in the past that she doesn't "like" her friends and that
they are "going nowhere", yet she hangs around with them anyway because
there's nothing better. She fights her mom to be able to run with them --
and do just as they do (the "going nowhere" question aside)!! E.g. drinking
parties, running the streets, hanging out. Don't know if there are other
things involved or not (drugs or sex), but I'm thinking those can't be far
off (at best) at this rate.
Mom has talked about how much time YJ likes to spend at the apartment of her
friend C. Mom doesn't like her to go there, because it is largely
unsupervised and sometimes they drink there. (But I'm not really sure how
one can keep YJ in line at this point, short of locking her into a very
small room, which is not recommended...) Mom mentions a recent time when YJ
was supposed to be home but was still at C's, so went storming over to bring
YJ home, found her sitting in the kitchen talking with C's mom (who is an
alcoholic with *lots* of problems!), who was giving her a manicure. H was
touched to realize that not *all* of YJ's time "on the road" was spent
hanging out with boys and running wild... And, despite her behavior with
her sister, I do think that YJ has a good heart. She does seem to genuinely
care about her friends, at least the ones she perceives as being in need.
She has always been friendly with me (a "mere mom"
), seems eager tohave someone (a grown-up?) to share her (many) concerns and unhappinesses
with. Which makes me maybe a less-than-objective observer...
She is a prankster!!!! Loves to fool people, sometimes with an elaborate
set-up and sometimes just an outrageous lie, convincingly delivered. She is
fun to be with and has had plenty of friends -- but according to YM even
some of YJ's friends have started avoiding her because they're bothered by
her gossiping (back-stabbing) and the way she treats her sister.
YJ seems to be lacking a "center", doesn't seem to really know where or how
to "settle", where she wants to go or how she wants to get there. It seems
that she often says or does things "for effect", because she herself isn't
really sure what the truth is -- this is just *my impression*... My
impession is that her sense of self is in some way not strong or defined.
I'm missing something here, but hope this is enough to start with. Remedies
I'm considering so far (and I would love feedback on any!) are cann-i (but
she seems so definitely < from being alone, and so *always* desirous of
company, but i don't see cann-i under those rubrics; and phos (which reps
well but I *think* this goes beyond phos -- or does it???), and maybe (tho I
don't know the remedy well yet at all) Morph. -- but am very open to all
ideas!
All feedback appreciated!
Thanks,
Shannon