boy who dresses as a girl

[Rosemary C Hyde PhD]

It's possible, but it's been going on several times a week for over a year, and he doesn't pretend to be anything else....
There is a problem, though, and this is one aspect of it. As I said, the core issue is he can't ever decide on anything, and it causes him great anguish (as well as to everyone else around him, because he ends up screaming and collapsing onto the floor kicking his feet -- alternating with being a totally sweet, helpful child when no decision has been required.)
He walks around all the time holding his penis (he's 4), and is a very worried child -- for instance, when he scratched his finger, he put on a bandaid, and emptied the whole box of bandaids into his pocket ("in case I get another scratch"), and always wants company -- hates doing anything that involves going into another part of the house without bringing someone along. He stammers quite a lot -- he's in too much of a hurry to say what he wants and clearly his thoughts aren't in synch with his speech processing. He has a very loud voice most of the time. He also frequently loses his thought right in the middle of a sentence and stops talking, seemingly unaware that he hasn't finished. His intelligence is fine. If he were evaluated, I'm quite sure he'd be diagnosed with ADHD, and possibly with some slight amount of Asperger's syndrome -- an inability to process incoming stimuli that aggravates when there are more stimuli is a central part of the problem.
Physically, the only issue he's had that's required medical attention is a bleeding vascular growth that arose on his cheek and had to be removed. (nevus-red -on the face). He has an enormous appetite and apprently likes eating everything, but especially chocolate. He is incredibly physically active constantly (most likely overly so), speedy, and well-coordinated physically -- but not a daredevil. His teething was remarkably slow, although normal and not terribly troublesome. His teeth are of uneven size -- some much larger than others.
Not at all obese -- rather delicate build and facial features. He does know he's a boy, but he can't quite make up his mind to just be one (doesn't want to miss out on anything???). He went to a photo shoot as a model, and insisted on picking out an outrageously fluffy, flouncing dress with a matching purse as his outfit for the photograph. It was a beautifully color coordinated set of items -- bright pink! He loved it. (I saw the picture!) The more I describe, the more he really does sound like Med, doesn't he? -- the strong behavioral contrasts, and the outrageousness with an overlay of gender role experimentation .... He's just as likely any day to choose a skirt and a purse as to wear a boy's outfit. He picked out two skirts for himself when shopping with his mother (she got them to avoid an hourlong tantrum in the store), and those are his favorite garments.
His mother is going out of her mind because of the20 indecisiveness and the fact that it leads constantly to shrieking tantrums wherever he is -- often in public but not always -- over outrageously trivial issues (is the cookie facing the right way when you give it to him, for instance.)
The cross-dressing she could take in stride if that was all that was going on. But he's clearly a troubled child at this point -- not happy and not functioning well a lot of the time. We're seeing a development of constitutional issues that he's shown since infancy -- a propensity to overreact easily and become overly excited from the tiniest stimulus -- although he became more anxious and therefore more likely to find himself unable to deal with situations, since his brother was born a year ago. The brother, of course, even though relatively quiet, is a further stimulus that adds to the total that he can't control or process calmly.
This child has no maliciousness at all, and there are never any violent actions against himself or others. He's normally sweet with his baby brother (not always mindful, of course, but who is?)
I still don't know what rubrics to use... which is probably immaterial to the case, but I'm curious.
Rosemary

[Shannon Nelson]

Hi Rosemary,
Just pulling out some rubrics (don't know if they're the best, or
weighted, or etc.), I have:

MIND; CONFUSION of mind; identity, as to his (59)
MIND; IRRESOLUTION, indecision (177)
MIND; ANGER, irascibility; general; temper tantrums (38)
MALE; HANDLES genitals (18)
SPEECH & VOICE; SPEECH; stammering (95)
MIND; FASTIDIOUS (52)
MIND; FORGETFULNESS; sentence, cannot finish (8)
TEETH; DENTITION; slow (19)
MIND; HURRY, haste; general (152)
MIND; AWKWARDNESS (70)

The top ones from that are stram, cann-i, and thuja, also hyos, sulph,
carc (which I thought would place higher), Puls, merc, phos, ars...
Does Thuja seem plausible? Besides having a "feel" that matches what I
get from your telling, it's also the only one to run thru all of those
(arguable) rubrics. Med is right behind it, but not under tantrums, or
stammering, or slow dentition.

Let us know what happens!
Shannon

[Ellen Madono]

Hi Rosemary,

Is he into really bright colors? (not just the pink?). What's his
level of physical activity. I am thinking of Tarent-h. Does that
desire to go public with his cross dressing seem competitive, or is he
trying to be the center of attention? Or something else?

I think focusing on something like the indecisiveness is really
helpful in this kind of case. But you need some physical or something
quirky. I think confusion about his identity can work maybe. That
relates to the indecisiveness. Handles genitals is not so interesting
as he will do it in front of others. Maybe a lack of shame or a
desire to act out in public, or a desire for social support. Finding
the emotion that cuts through the case will help. Stammering seems to
relate to the indecisiveness. Can't decide what he wants to say.
Awkward may be the same.

Does he play with other kids. It might help to watch him playing.
Have you seen those issues in Herscu's journal, the New England
Journal of Homeopathy. They are on observations of sand play. They
were on his site a few years back.

Sorry. Have to run.
Love,
Kathi
Blessings,
Ellen

[Jean Doherty]

The butterfly remedies have gender issues some dull and some truly beautifully colour coordinated. Links1/01 Vol 14 . Just a thought as on finding and checking article not many features of this case present. In the context of present discussion interesting to look at I seem to remember Links having another article about cross dressing and wearing make up which I think was a butterfly. Can not find it just now. Capriciousness and clinging seem to be present also being fastidious, Very interesting,
Best Wishes, Jean

[K DA SILVA-HILL]

Hi Rosemary, I would suggest a totality of symptoms. I have treated a boy in similar circunstances, some years ago, it was a success in as much as the child (now a teenager) still dresses in girl clothes but he is fine about it, very balanced, and so are the family, which was a big issue at the time. As well as remedies for him, I prescribed Little flannel flower australian flower essence to be sprayed in the house once daily. The transformation was amazing, everyone just accepted him from there on, it lifted such a burden from the child. Best wishes, Grace

[Tanya Marquette]

what is Little flannel flower essence about?
tanya

[K DA SILVA-HILL]

Sorry, gave you the wrong flower essence - it should have said slender rice flower essence - it is about narrowmindness, prejudice and issues around racism etc. You can find out more about it if you look at Ian White's website - the Australian Bush Flower Essences. Grace

[Tanya Marquette]

thanks. very interesting sounding. i will check out
the web site. some of the holistic animal discussion
groups use the australian flower essences and promote
them as offerring good success.
tanya

[Howard A Asinoff]

Assuming hormone levels, etc have been checked out - are we really doing this boy a service by using a remedy that addresses the family for narrowmindedness? Perhaps the boy has issues or is laden with confusion about being a male and needs his confidence, etc addressed. And even if this flower remedy works for him at home, is he to carry an atomizer with him always and spray his way thru the world? I truly believe that your motives are pure but the boys inner issues have yet to be addressed!
Grace & Peace
Sorry, gave you the wrong flower essence - it should have said slender rice flower essence - it is about narrowmindness, prejudice and issues around racism etc. You can find out more about it if you look at Ian White's website - the Australian Bush Flower Essences. Grace

[K DA SILVA-HILL]

Each case is individual, and all angles have to be covered and investigated. I was simply sharing the case of a boy that I treated, and some of the approaches that I used. Grace