Digest Number 1873/return visits

[Theresa Partington]

Ellen wrote:
By saying my teacher is forgiving, I am making a commentary on my nature,
unforgiving. For example, if a patient suppresses her itch symptoms with
steroids for the third time and is calling me at 7 am, I get steely,
disgusted etc. I should say "I'll call you later" and finish my morning
meditation. Instead I have a hard time hiding my feelings. It is better to
just be more forgiving and experience less conflict concerning human
weakness. In my heart at that time, I am saying to myself, "I don't care if
I never see you again because you keep doing this suppression stuff and
undoing it is too much bother....." Without words, the patient feels my
emotional outpouring. My teacher is much more accepting of human fragility,
more patient. I admire this and wish to be kinder. As for people dangling
for months with no improvement, I personally can't stand it. I lose sleep
over it and stay up late at night reviewing cases and trying to improve my
understanding. After 20 years, my teacher does the same. Again I am
unforgiving, this time of myself. For a student, probably a necessary
attitude, but not helpful for one's own health. Placid lonely patients say
"just talking to you and laying all the cards out on the table is so
helpful." Aren't they really expecting a cure?, I ask myself. Others get
what they came for and are greedy or curious about what more can be done. I
think passing harsh judgments on the weakness of yourself or others is
counter-productive. There is obviously a great deal of art and skill to
homeopathy, and I as a beginner have not scratched the surface, however, I
will quit if I get too judgmental of myself or others. Patients will also
quit coming or staying. So work on the spiritual foundation of life is
essential to the continued effort both sides, patient and practitioner.

Hi Ellen!
An excellent description of instinctive responses to patients who do not
appear to be doing or responding as expected! I have certainly been there,
and so, I am sure have many others! To me, judgement and forgiveness are
two sides of the same coin and neither has a place in a therapeutic
relationship (unless you are some sort of priest passing on God's
forgiveness). What you are saying *here* is that your
teacher/more-experienced colleague is accepting and non-judgmental -and
*this* is an excellent basis for any relationship with a fellow adult, of
course.
I am not saying that people should not be allowed to see a homeopath for
months and months with no improvement, but the practitioner needs to take
the initiative in discussing what is happening and establishing what is
almost certainly a revised contract, bearing in mind most people go to see a
homeopath initially to get better from something. A lot of homeopaths don't
have an explicit contract about this - what we are hoping to achieve and how
long it should take - but there is always an implicit contract and it is
important that you are seeing eye to eye on what it is.
Our whole education system is geared to teacher/pupil, parent/child,
judge/judged even, arguably, healer/healed and it is so important that we
learn how to step out of this - which is of course what you are doing when
you go and meditate and 'rise above' your instinctive learnt responses.
It's a lifetime's journey and the journey of a lifetime!

Thanks for your lovely email.
BW

Theresa

[Ellen Madono]

Dear Theresa,

I tend to have anxiety of conscience and I am telling the patient all of the worst that I can think of or expressing my own anxiety about the remedy not progressing as I feel it should. Of course, because I am not a confident beginner, I am sharing more of my personal emotional immaturity than a professional assessment of the case. Luckily I talk to my teacher and he generally tells me to slow down and stay the course. This high level of honesty is good for some people. For those sensitive souls, they can distinguish between me and objective assessment. Also, telling them something about what I am thinking helps them to participate in their own care, as Catherine so nicely described. For some, even professional assessment adds to their own anxiety.

Don't have to answer here, but in your article which I hope you will share, how to balance out between sharing your personal anxiety, professional honesty and fellowship in the healing process and professional case management will be addressed. When do you decide that you really are not helping the patient and he should not waste precious time with you? Do you prepare him gradually or do your level best, keep up your smiley face and then drop the bomb? Obviously the gradual approach would be better, but how is that done with grace?

Blessings,
Ellen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]