3 year old who loves milk

[Joy Lucas]

Dear Shannon and Rhonda, this child is only 3 years old and perhaps the
pressure put upon children is too much sometimes. Clearly she has been told
that it is wrong to soil to herself - but wrong to who? It isn't 'wrong' is
it? Milestones are reached and lost again for no apparent reason but the
pressure builds because we compare our children to others and begin to worry
when it doesn't go to plan. If this gets really out of proportion and there
is so much emphasis on right and wrong we then often see the Carcinosin
picture creep in. The more you make something 'wrong' the more of an issue
it becomes. The child was expressing this and that is why I chose the
rubrics I did.

Also the screaming isn't wrong either, it just irks her mother. Perhaps the
only remedy this child needs is parents who don't create these types of
boundaries and perhaps learn to scream with her, to make it fun and break
down the control aspect of parenting. Likewise with the soiling. It is quite
possible she has created her own agenda because she is not getting the
required attention - milk is a comfort zone and unfortunately she is
suffering from it (possibly?) with the constipation. "Screaming' is a sure
fire way of getting the attention but usually seen as the 'wrong' way of
going about it. It it catch 22 - take the milk away and substitute a
different kind of parenting and the whole situation might clear up.

But from a homeopathic point of view it is probably correct to include the
'ailments from milk' and 'milk aggravates' as the constipation might well be
connected with this - as Robyn said Aloe becomes quite a possibility here -
interestingly it has dreams of soiling oneself, although in my opinion it
isn't a 'sleepy' remedy. Certainly the constipation needs attending to,
whether it has anything to do with the milk or not. If she is soiling
herself because she really has no control, then that is an entirely
different picture and not one of a child who is manipulating a situation.
Encopresis is a painful condition and maybe that is why she is screaming, it
is her way of dealing with it if she is really suffering and out of sorts
with it. I think this needs clarifying.

Re: the Leber's Optic Neuropathy - both men and women can have this
condition but only women who have this ailment can pass it on to their
children, men cannot. So she should be ok with this.

Best wishes, Joy
Message: 12

[Shannon Nelson]

Hi Joy,

Well, I do see your points!
I guess my only second thought would be to try to check this out with the
parents. If they *have* (or someone has) made a big deal about the soiling,
then your idea seems convincing. But my assumption (based no doubt on my
experiences with my guy, which is of course not proof!; plus the mischievous
expression) was that her question was because she had intended to do
"something wrong", to tease.

I think it's very important to check out any assumptions about "why", and
about "what was said" to the child. After various experiences with my own
two, I am *far* less quick to decide/assume that everything a child
expresses was "caused" by an identifiable experience! Some of it is innate,
"their own baggage", miasms at work, whatever...

Cheers,
Shannon
on 3/29/03 8:00 AM, Joy Lucas at joy.lucas@ntlworld.com wrote: