Minutus

Hi, Ellen.

First, you're correct, that homosexuality is not the issue here. It's gender identity. This person is "transgendered" -- occupying a body that's one gender, but mentally and emotionally wired as a person of the opposite gender. This would explain her "going dead" when having intercourse with a male, because she is mentally and emotionally a "straight" male. It's not a delusion, it's real. Nowadays, people often deal with this mismatch by undergoing surgical and hormonal treatment to create a body of the gender that conforms with their mental/ emotional identity. Most are much happier when they can convincingly "be" the gender they feel rather than the one they look.

This mismatch happens in a small but consistent percentage of the population across cultures. Whatever the culture's interpretation of these people, they are not at fault, they had nothing to do with their mismatched gender identity, and they can't change it mentally or emotionally, no matter how hard they try. If they take that approach they may be able to fool others for a while, but will be totally miserable in themselves and will eventually break down in some way from the intense internal conflict.

What's interesting with this patient is that she apparently does not blame herself or feel defective, which some people (a lot) might do. Instead, she feels that she needs to "fix" society. There's a certain amount of delusional hubris or grandiosity in this attitude.

And of course the description of "slippage" is fascinating.

One thinks of "Thoughts compelling."

Another interesting possible rubric:
MIND - THOUGHTS - control of thoughts lost

Coff.mrr1 lycps-v.a1 oena.a1 puls.a1 sulph.a1
Another very interesting rubric, which points to Sabadilla, a remedy that quite possibly has some relevance here, is:

MIND - DELUSIONS - separated - thoughts are separated from him; strange

sabad.a1,bg1,rb2,st

Other possible rubrics:

MIND - THOUGHTS - insane

Lyss.k

MIND - THOUGHTS - instability

Acon.b7.de,bg2 ang.b7.de,bg2 berb.bg2 cann-s.b7.de cham.b7.de lyc.bg2 m-aust.b7.de nux-m.bg2 nux-v.b7.de,bg2 op.b7.de,bg2 puls.b7.de,bg2 staph.bg2 valer.b7.de,bg2 Viol-o.b7.de,bg2

MIND - THOUGHTS - intrude and crowd around each other

acon.hr1,k ars.k bry.a1,h1 camph.hr1,kr1 Cann-i.a1,br1,k canth.a1,k cinnb.k13,k2 Fl-ac.hr1,kr1 lach.hr1,k melal-alt.gya4 Merc.hr1,kr1 mur-ac.k ph-ac.k phos.h2,kl Sulph.k tub.k2 verb.hr1,kr1

MIND - THOUGHTS - control of thoughts lost

Coff.mrr1 lycps-v.a1 oena.a1 puls.a1 sulph.a1

MIND - THOUGHTS - disconnected

alum.a1,sf1.de ambr.sf1.de arg-n.a1 Bell.a1 ben-n.a1 berb.j5.de cann-i.a1,mrr1 caps.bg2 carbn-o.a1 carbn-s.a1 chin.bg2 colch.hr1,kr1 Cupr-act.a1 dig.a1 gels.hr1,kr1 Hell.mrr1,vh,vh/dg,vhx1 hyos.a1 kali-i.a1 lact-v.a1 lam.hr1,kr1 laur.bg2 lyc.a1 melal-alt.gya4 Nat-c.bg2,hr1,j5.de,kr1 Nux-v.hr1,kr1 ph-ac.j5.de Rhus-v.a1,hr1,kr1 sieg.mg1.de sulfa.jl3 sulph.a1,j5.de Syph.hr1,kr1,mtf33 trom.hr1,kr1 ven-m.jl3 verat.j5.de,mrr1 viol-o.a1,hr1,kr1 Zinc.a1,j5.de

MIND - THOUGHTS - erroneous

sabad.ckh1 valer.ckh1,ptk1 verat.ckh1,st1

MIND - THOUGHTS - persistent - separated - will; thoughts separated from

anh.sp1

MIND - CONFUSION of mind - identity, as to his - sexual identity

musca-d.szs1

MIND - FANCIES - vivid

acon.a1,bg2,k alco.a1 ang.b7.de bell.a1,bg2 Cann-i.kr1 cann-s.b7.de,bg,j5.de cann-xyz.bg2 carb-an.k cham.k coff.a1,b7.de,bg2,hr1,k croc.k cycl.k dig.a1,k hell.k hyos.b7.de,k ign.k2 kali-br.k LACH.a1,b7.de,bg2,k lact.k Lyc.k meph.bg2,k morph.a1 najak nat-m.k nitro-o.a1 nux-v.bg2 op.k par.b7.de phos.bg2,k pic-ac.bg2 puls.bg2,k sabad.b7.de STRAM.a1,k valer.b7.de,bg2 viol-o.b7.de zinc.kr1

There's also "Thoughts abundant" -- larger rubric.
Given her feeling about changing society rather than herself, Veratrum could be another remedy to consider for her. Or Valerian??
Anyway, these are some rubrics and thoughts that might perhaps provide a way of approaching the case.
Rosemary
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

On Thursday, Dec 23, 2004, at 10:18 US/Pacific, Rosemary C Hyde PhD
wrote:
I'm sure others may have wondered or even discoursed upon this subject
and whether mismatches in gender identity have a chronic disease
component. Or are there some that do, and others that do not, with some
more "legitimate" than others? I can't imagine gender confusion as a
naturally healthy state for an animal of any kind.

I don't mean to open a can of worms here, and am more than comfortable
with any preference, just curious.

ginny
All stunts performed without a net!

Dear Rosemary,

Thank-you for confirming my feeling that I didn't have to be thinking of fixing her gender ID problem. Let the cards fall as they will.

Except for stereo-typical "feminine" responses (I like to take care of others), talking with her does not feel like talking to a woman. We are talking about relationships with other men, not women, about masculine leisure activities etc. She says that she feels that she is menatlly and emotionally a woman. She acts like a "straight male," but that is not what she says about mental emotional life. You are not confused in your explanation are you? Possibly she is young so she has not re-learned feminine ways. I don't know how important understanding this is for doing her case, but it is unsettling to feel confused.

She is actually complaining that she cannot focus on "fixing" herself and following though with her personal agenda because she is so angry with society. It's a social justice and anger segment.

I guess the dynamics and the focus of the case are still not clear enough. I will research using your rubrics as well and then talk to her again.

Blessings,
Ellen

Rosemary,

i find your comments welcome and appropriate regarding some transgender
states. my concern is with the comment
"Instead, she feels that she needs to "fix" society. There's a certain
amount of delusional hubris or grandiosity in this attitude."
I seem to have lost the original case in point so do not have a direct
feeling sense about it for myself. Howevfer, you comment
is so general that I need to question why you would make such a statement.
If your statement stands, then historically all
peoples who have struggeled against oppressive social stigmas would be
considered to have an attitude problem when they
demanded that society be changed. Would you characterize people of color or
women who have fought for societal
attitude changes full of hubris or grandiosity? Or would you admire them
for the courage to stand up for themselves? Are
the millions of people who stand today against repressive political tactics
in this country full of hubris because they organize
against the controlling status quo? I hope this is not what you are
suggesting.

tanya

Hi Ginny,
Lot's of animals confuse conventional gender standards says our local Zoo keeper and many others. My teacher said that some patients reverse during treatment and others don't. In this case, since she has felt that she was a girl as a small child being raised as a boy, and she does not feel that gender confusion is the center of her case. Others are bothered, but she is convinced and happy with her gender ID, female. I am not going to make it the center of the case. There are other fish to fry and they may ultimately have something to do with the confusion that she feels unrelated to gender ID. If she feels better and has a better chance of surviving, I will be satisfied. I think if I could understand her way of being and feeling confused, how confusion occurs etc, I will get the case together.
Blessings,
Ellen

Dear Tanya,

Causticum helps me and probably would help my patient. The strong desire to struggle for justice is as you say a very 'healthy" trait. What happens with Causticum when the intolerance for injustice becomes pathological, the anger that is a response to injustice imobilizes the organism. In middle age, physically they become bound up in arthritic complaints For this 20 year old, her muscles are slow and she moves slowly. At the mental emotional level, I see injustice, but because I am so twisted up in my anger and resentment that I do not act. In my patient's case, she is homeless, cold and hungry, but all her energy is turned toward caring for other street kids. She is a great political organizer and negotiator, but she becomes so confused and debilitated with what are to her largely hidden personal problems that she is unable to maintain stable leadership. Causticum is for many reasons an obvious remedy for her, but because the center of the problem from her perspective is not completely clear to me, I am not sure about it.

I don't think haughty is a clear description of her. She did say that since she was a small child, she was attracted to doing the impossible. She likes danger and even violence, even though it traumatizes her in stories of encounters with police helicopters. As a teenager up to 5 years ago, she drew blood from up and down her left arm. The muscles are much smaller on that arm and she does not do it any more. She said that she felt that something dead had to come out. She feels that something is wrong with the left side of her body and indeed, black ear wax, psoriasis on the foot and injuries are on her left side.

If she kills an animal during a hunt, she believes that it is good karma if you kill looking straight into the eyes of the animal. You recognize and know its spirit. I think possibly she is looking for stimulus but also for connection, communication. Until several years ago, she maintained multiple outer personnas because she felt that her outer body was an imposture anyway. She quit doing that because her friends said it was confusing for them. On the streets, she is in danger if her "cover" is blown. That is, others discover that she is the physical body of a man. She attends court every month because she understands the legal charge of trespassing and the intricacies of court injustice. Obviously communications is a huge issue. She conscientiously confront communication difficulties when she is able to. What else could be the attraction to confrontation with the world?

Confused, over drawn metaphores, hyper computer logic..... come closer to intellectal pathologies if there are such rubrics.

Her tongue is swollen and tooth marked. It looks like a mercurious or sepia tongue. Sepia is really strong. Otherwise, Falco-pe, caust come up as strong candidates. I'll interview her again.

Blessings,
Ellen

Transgendered people can be either homosexual or heterosexual in the gender identity they relate to, just like anyone else -- they're two completely distinct layers of gender identity-- it can get a bit confusing.

In any case, you're right that what would need fixing would be any confusion she's feeling and also any feelings that distress her about her gender issues -- not specifically the gender issues themselves.

It's interesting to learn why people have the feelings they have about themselves -- "Where did that voice come from?" is a question I find people can relate to and that often brings out deeper aspects of the case.

For instance, in a recent case, the patient said she was depressed. I asked what that meant, and she said she was "so bad." I asked what that meant, and she said it meant that she didn't do everything perfectly all the time -- sometimes she would have a fleeting selfish thought, for instance. (I was sure glad I asked -- that wouldn't have been my own definition of "so bad" and I would have missed the case completely. )

Then I asked where that voice came from, and she replied that she had decided when she was four years old -- she remembered the day well -- that no one could ever possibly love her because she was totally unloveable, and that she would henceforth do everything more perfectly than anyone else ever could, so they would damned well HAVE to at least admire her. She's lived her whole life ever since based on that decision, and it's the source of her illness now.

Hopefully you can get a clearer picture of your patient's sexual issues and feelings about them - those feelings and perceptions become the case, and the sexual dysmorphism would possibly be a confirmatory for the remedy, but not a central lynchpin in building the case. I'd be really curious to know why she's so angry with society, and who "society" is (pursue this question till you find the link to early childhood and the people whose voices she heeded then). And what angry means to her in this context.

It sounds a fascinating case, and I hope you will keep us posted on how it evolves.

Peace. Rosemary

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi, Tanya -- Heavens, no! I wouldn't extend a comment of that nature to any group of people -- no way. I was responding to a specific sentence that Ellen had shared when she first told us about the "slippage" -- it was above the slippage example -- where the person was talking about fixing society's attitudes because she felt it was wrong. It just struck me as an unusual approach to that particular issue of feeling she was looked upon badly in society. Unfortunately, we've all "snipped" so diligently that I can no longer find the statement in question, and am beginning to wonder if I hallucinated it. ) If so, my apologies.

Rosemary

Dear Ellen, I have not followed this thread from beginning, and cant seem to find the first post, so please forgive me if I make any glaring errors or miss something important. If you can privately send me your original post on the full case re: "slippage" etc, would appreciate. I have found the comments by Rosemary and others interesting. And this latest post had me thinking Stramonium, so I will pass on some thoughts in hopes they may be helpful. Lyss, Sabad, also to be investigated but farther back certainly.

As you knew and was pointed out by Rosemary and perhaps others, erroneous ideas about body/identity seem to be the central item to be cured if possible; "policing" of society is another peculiar. She seems heavy handed and capable of violence. She seems to have sacrificed her left arm (her feminine side) and "stabs" herself there. For a 20 year old, she seems larger than life, superhuman,and felt like could do the impossible as a child. These support stramonium as an idea in the case.

===============
ERRONEOUS IDEAS ABOUT BODY
--(“As a teenager up to
5 years ago, she drew blood from up and down her left arm. The muscles are much smaller on that
arm and she does not do it any more. She said that she felt that something dead had to come out.
She feels that something is wrong with the left side of her body and indeed, black ear wax,
psoriasis on the foot and injuries are on her left side.”)

MIND; DELUSIONS, imaginations; body, body parts; one half cut off (1) : stram. --this one seems to fit the case well.

--(Delusion she is in a mans body although she is in a woman’s)
Erroneous ideas about body: bapt., cot., germ., haliae-lc., lac-cpr., lac-lup., posit., pyrog., Sabad., stram., thiam-hy., thuj.

Also
MIND; CONFUSION of mind; identity, as to his (59) : allox., Alum., anac., anh., ant-c., arg-n., aur., bapt., bar-s., bell-p., berb., calc-p., camph., cand-a., cann-i., cann-s., chlorpr., cic., cocc., coli., conv., cycl., daph., des-ac., ephe., falco-p., foll., gels., germ., haliae-lc., halo., hydrog., kali-br., lach., lil-t., lyc., med., mosch., naja, nat-m., nux-m., op., paro-i., petr., phos., plb., psor., puls., pyrog., pyrus, sec., sil., stram., sulph., ther., thuj., tril., valer., xan.
Additional material for your use not relating to stram
MIND; DELUSIONS, imaginations; body, body parts; halves, left half does not belong to her (1) : sil.
MIND; DELUSIONS, imaginations; body, body parts; arms; belong to her, do not (5) : agar., bapt., carc., ign., op.

MIND; DELUSIONS, imaginations; body, body parts; shrunken, like the dead (1) : sabad.---this one interesting but can sabad be confirmed?
Sabadilla
-----------------------------------------------
Hay fever/coryza: violent sneezing.
open air.
Desires warm food/ warmth on sore area (throat).
Aversion onions.
warm drinks.
Asagraea officinalis. Veratrum officinale. Sabadilla officinarum. Cebadilla. Cevadilla. N.O. Melanthaceae of the Liliaceae. Tincture of seeds.
===================
SENSE CAN DO THE “IMPOSSIBLE”-- . “She did say that since she was a small
child, she was attracted to doing the impossible.

STRAM:
Strength: sensation of. {7> 40> 0}
Delirium: exaltation of strength, with. {2> 4> 0}
•Great exertion of strength; a strong man could scarcely restrain him.
Increased, maniacal strength.

============
"POLICEMAN" (see Paul Herscu book on Stramonium)
"She attends court every month because she understands the legal charge of trespassing and
the intricacies of court injustice."

"She is a great political organizer and negotiator, but she becomes so confused and debilitated with what are to her largely hidden personal problems that she is unable to maintain stable leadership. "
--- wants to correct society.

============
VIOLENCE
"She likes danger and even violence, even
though it traumatizes her in stories of encounters with police helicopters”

Stram is famous for its connection to violence, and is in bold type.

===========
HUNTER
“If she kills an animal during a hunt, she believes that it is good karma if you kill looking
straight into the eyes of the animal”

"On the streets, she is in danger if her "cover" is blown. That is, others discover that she is the physical body of a
man. "

—this is a 20 year old woman?? Among other things what comes out in relief is the resemblance to animal and survival type stuff --I once saw a stram case of a vietnam vet with superhuman strength who would threaten to kill friends, who could do the work of several other men, and would patrol his property during the night. He had actually killed many people in battle. Nice guy, but had these qualities.

==================
STABBING HERSELF—“As a teenager up to
5 years ago, she drew blood from up and down her left arm.

Stram will stab themselves (see Stramonium, Herscu, p 85)

Stab [sen] himself: ars. benz-p?., Calc., lyss., (stram.(Herscu)
PAINLESSNESS of complaints usually painful.
Beyond the confusion of gender/erroneous thoughts (stramonium can have great confusion--(it is from Datura stramonium, a hallucinogen and is listed for erroneous ideas about the body)--there could be peculiar tendency here in this case toward superhuman strength, “policing” (attend court, fight against injustice (see also Paul herscu’s book on stram—the Stram who connects morality with need for retribution by violence which at some point may also become directed toward themselves (cut off and stab her left and feminine side).

This woman seems to be carrying a fear which causes her to think that she must be a "man" in order to protect herself and others.
Maybe some early experience reinforced this, but regardless it seems to be dominating both her psyche AND soma and appears to be something that she could have brought into this life from the past. Case seems vital and "curable", in my estimation, if the goal is for her to become more comfortable with the gender role of the body she is in and thus remove that conflict with her left and feminine side. But only proof is in pudding.

KEYNOTES FOR CONFIRMATION OF STRAM
Fears: dark (alone), violence, injury, dogs, water, claustrophobia. Ailments from fright.
Night terrors. Loquacity.
Violent behavior/motions -convulsions, stammering.
Urge to kill, bite, strike. Dry mouth: averse water.
Febrile convulsions. Convulsions worse bright light.
One side paralyzed: the other convulsed (twitches).
Wild delirium. Wild look: wide eyes: dilated pupils.
Worse reflective surfaces: precipitate fear or violence.
Painlessness with complaints. Staggers in dark.
Hirsutism in women (face). Strong sex drive.

Other ideas of Sabad Lyss, and from the rubrics Rosemary offered should be ruled out if possible... Lyssin stabs themselves and is of the Hydrophobic miasm as is Stramonium, which IMO is probably equivalent and should be merged conceptually with Sankarans "Acute" miasm, which I hypothesize hydrophobia may be the infectious disease analog/susceptibility.

Lyssinum
------------------------------------------------
Exquisite sensitiveness to breath of air, to bright objects, especially the surface of water, to sounds, and most of all to the sound or even the thought of running water.
Dysentery; pain and tenesmus on hearing water running from a tap.
Cannot bear heat of sun.
Thirst, with inability to swallow.
Copious viscid saliva.
Rapid speech and impatience.
Mental irritability,dangerously violent temper.
Deep phobic states, compulsive disorders, family abuse issues and strong feelings of isolation and torment or ridicule.
Suffocating feeling; sighing, sighing respiration.
Effects of bites of non-rabid dogs have been removed by this nosode.
pain in neck.
Throws head back when sneezing.
Sensitive to least breath of air, air of agreeable temperature feels cold.
headache.
< from slightest touch, from riding in carriage.

You take a good case. It will be interesting to see what hom. can do here, which I suspect is a lot.
Hope this useful.

Best,
Andy

==================================

Ellen Madono wrote:

Rosemary,

thanks for the response. without rereading the case myself, i am talking in
the dark. but i would think that her concerns about changing
society would be evaluated in terms of how extreme her response it and how
detrimental it was for her life. for example, rx like causticum might come
to mind--depending on the remainder of the case, of course. but as an old
activist, i dont know that i would necessarily think she was delusional for
wanting to see society change bigoted attitudes. actually, that might
reflect a very healthy attitude. now if she thought she could personally
change it all
with the wave of a magic wand--well then, i would have to concur that there
might be a fantastical side to her nature. No?

tanya