Minutus

Looking for your thoughts. Just spoke with 14 year old grandson wo spends 35 hours a week playing video games.

Is this 'normal'? I wonder about the influence on these games with human interaction. Seems he pays with his friends and they are all in different houses where they all meet on line.
I know we probably went through all the same questions with TV and radio in their time.
Any sx there that anyone can see?
I am just curious about this. Grandson's grades are good and he is in the top percentage nation wide for intelligence.
Your thoughts?

Sent from my iPhone

More disturbing is quality of games they're playing, emphasis on violence, crime, warfare.
Here, top Xbox games, no wonder school, movie shootings, etc. keep happening.
Maybe more an American phenom, haven't heard any European or Canadian school shootings.
http://bit.ly/1xUtAIs
Susan

And in what percentage is he in sports?
And in what percentage is he for social skills?
How are his household and family skills? (Can he sew himself a T shirt, make bread or lasagne, lay flagstones and change the car batteries?)
And in what percentage is he for community activities to better the planet?
Or is he a piece of brain in a bottle with an "IQ"? (An eletronic device could also exist be in a bottle?)

When my kids were small, they were allowed 2 hours of tv average per day. It could be all on one day or whenever.
If they wanted to play computer games, they got taught to first write one. They sewed themsleves a garment before they got a clothing allowance.
They had to do two extramural activities plus two sports. Their choice which.

It was my belief that the more skills they learned in all possible areas as kids, including mental and physical, the less likely they were to become juvenile delinquents or get bored and rely on external stimulants such as drugs, to get their highs as teenagers.

I still believe those things.
But I forgot to include one community activity to help others weekly.
It was a big mistake, the rest worked out as predicted.

In my opinion it is abusive to allow any kid to spend so many hours on an area that does not improve ALL of his health areas, and which may well deteriorate several of them. The hours equates to a full work week. The parent is doing the kid no favors! If anything they are abdicating from their parenting responsibilities. The PARENT needs a remedy to help them get in gear to do their job IMO.

Advise the young man that research shows computer games are a good geriatric sport, it helps keep the brain ticking over a little, to try to avoid Alzheimers. He's a bit young to be "swotting for his finals"!


If it was my kid, I would insist they socialize with real humans they can touch, MORE than they do electronically and that they are involved in active sports also more than they play electronically, and that they learn other skills also for more time than they spend electronically. ...Balance you know:-)
Otherwise - It's like eating an overdose of one nutrient every day, and no other nutrients. DEbatable what kind of nutrient that is - nonessential perhaps:-)

What kind of parent allows that?
He's a child. This is on the parent.
Namaste,
Irene
--
Irene de Villiers, B.Sc AASCA MCSSA D.I.Hom/D.Vet.Hom.
P.O. Box 4703 Spokane WA 99220.
www.angelfire.com/fl/furryboots/clickhere.html (Veterinary Homeopath.)
"Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt one doing it."

That too.
I liked to teach MY kids that guns are NOT toys - therefore no game with them was okay.
My own favorite computer game when computers first came out was Lemmings.
The object of the game was to SAVE the lemmings, so they did not go over a cliff.
If anyone is antique enough to remember that one, it was briliantly designed.

There are far better games than the weapon toting rubbish that passes for entertainment nowadays.
Ancient games like Scrabble, 3D Mah Jhong, Chess, Da Vinci, Kakuro, etc are all challenging positive online or app options with speed timing options, to play solo or with others.
But not 35 hrs a week:-)

....Irene
--
Irene de Villiers, B.Sc AASCA MCSSA D.I.Hom/D.Vet.Hom.
P.O. Box 4703 Spokane WA 99220.
www.angelfire.com/fl/furryboots/clickhere.html (Veterinary Homeopath.)
"Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt one doing it."

I have to agree with you on this Irene.

One thing I realized when I had my kids is that you are responsible for producing a human being that not only can take
of him/herself, but one that is responsible to the world around them as well. Children need to learn they are part of a
whole culture/society; it is not all about them.

t

I have to interject a bit of pride here. There is no TV in my grandchildren's house (nor in mine). The kids are home-schooled, steeped in their mom's culture (she's Mohawk), and they have farm chores. They are the best-behaved and most respectful children I've seen in years; it's a pleasure to have them around because they're so inquisitive, and being helpful seems built into their natures.
I'm convinced that much of what made "the greatest generation" so great was growing up at a time when children still had chores, particularly on farms. It's kinda hard to be full of yourself when you have to feed animals or muck out their stalls.
Peace,
Dale

You give teeth to my general comment.

I tried to raise my kids like that and it was fine as long as we were in a collective environment. When I was compelled
to mainstream them/us it was not a good time for us. The kids picked up on the egotism, classism and other isms of the
general population and it became a battle over values that still exists today. My kids absorbed the values they were
being taught but resent me for it because they want to be conscienceless like their cohorts. The death of our collective
living happened way too soon and much too abruptly for any smooth transition to occur. But the values are there and
my daughter did try to imbue her foster with such values despite the impoverishment (in every way) of her early years.
And my son? I think his anger towards me is being played out on his daughter with encouraging the self-centeredness
that we are all criticizing here. Time will tell,

t

Right on Dale - I wish I could say the same...... that godforsaken TV is not only, for the most part full of mindless violence in all forms as well as erroneous information generating an instrument of emotional, mental and physical retardation. How Sad.

Bob

I think all kids are angry at their parents in greater or lesser degrees and at different times in their lives. As a wonderful therapist once told me, "The more attached the child, the nastier they are when it comes time to individuate."
Fortunately for me, my son seems to have gotten over his anger, and it's interesting to watch these lovely old values resurfacing in his life. Both kids were raised diaperless with attachment parenting (i.e., basically never put down), and they still have a family bed. But they're also healthy (unvaccinated), lively, and very sweet children.
Peace,
Dale

I think there is more to it than teaching and environment. Their innate constitutional type also plays a role.

For example with my two sons, one has no tv in his house, he says he has better things to do.
The other has a movie room with a giant screen for TV/movies, and bose speakers for surround sound.
Same upbringing, and both home schooled, different outcomes, due to ICT effect.

We can do our best - pity parenting is not taught in school, we get to dive in the deep end and must swim.

Namaste,
Irene
--
Irene de Villiers, B.Sc AASCA MCSSA D.I.Hom/D.Vet.Hom.
P.O. Box 4703 Spokane WA 99220.
www.angelfire.com/fl/furryboots/clickhere.html (Veterinary Homeopath.)
"Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt one doing it."