clean houses, tidy emotions
Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 12:40 am
My old homeopathic doctor told me once that people who had extremely tidy
homes were not well. I had been telling him that I was an extremely messy
person...books and papers all over the place like the kitchen table and every
other surface.. whole one side of my bed filled with books. I get great
pleasure out of telling people who make comments about my messes that they
must be very sick.
Over the years I've noticed in myself and others that internet communication
can be filled with land mines. We can't hear intonations or see facial
expressions and we can't quickly take back something that we suddenly realise
we misunderstood after we e mailed it or that we might have written something
in a manner careless to other's feelings. We have no immediate feedback for
how others are taking what we have said....those little signs that we can give
in face to face communications that say..."don't go there" or whatever. The
way that we write might be completely different from how we are in real time.
I can write really well...but actually, I am quite stupid in person. You catch
my drift? We may think someone is a complete ass through their written
communication and in person they may be completely charming and not at all
pompous or whatever. In person when there are communication problems..you can
keep going at them till you come to understand each other's point of view,
except, of course, if you are married to the other person.
homes were not well. I had been telling him that I was an extremely messy
person...books and papers all over the place like the kitchen table and every
other surface.. whole one side of my bed filled with books. I get great
pleasure out of telling people who make comments about my messes that they
must be very sick.
Over the years I've noticed in myself and others that internet communication
can be filled with land mines. We can't hear intonations or see facial
expressions and we can't quickly take back something that we suddenly realise
we misunderstood after we e mailed it or that we might have written something
in a manner careless to other's feelings. We have no immediate feedback for
how others are taking what we have said....those little signs that we can give
in face to face communications that say..."don't go there" or whatever. The
way that we write might be completely different from how we are in real time.
I can write really well...but actually, I am quite stupid in person. You catch
my drift? We may think someone is a complete ass through their written
communication and in person they may be completely charming and not at all
pompous or whatever. In person when there are communication problems..you can
keep going at them till you come to understand each other's point of view,
except, of course, if you are married to the other person.