Minutus

Dear Minutians,

I am working with a man (54) who has a multitude of physical problems of
long standing (angina pectoris s/p MI 11 years ago), is on anti-anxiety
medications, Blood pressure medications, and many, many supplements. He
is VERY depressed now to the point of thinking of suicide. He will not
go off his medications, he is very afraid, as when he tried last year,
he went into such severe withdrawl that he almost died. He is a Massage
Therapist, and well educated in nutrition and Acupressure and Shiatsu.
He has moved to the USA two years ago, and has a lot of problems making
a living. His relationship with his wife is terrible, she is
argumentative (I talked to her many times, and it is true...) and
refuses to cooperate with instructions both for his sake and for her own
health. She does not take care of her physical appearance, and they
have not had sex in years. They have two teenage boys, both of whom
have Attention Deficit Disorder. She is irresponsible financially,
which only aggravates their otherwise tight financial situation.

His attempts at building a practice at his home-clinic are not very
successful, and although clients are happy with his work, only a few
come back regularly, and they don't make referrals. He loves his work
in this field.

He has been trying all kinds of 'marketing' schemes in an attempt to
create an income. He does not like them, although he has tried.

Through his desperation about finances, he has tried various investment
schemes and has been cheated and scammed several times.

So, I am working with what I have...

The obvious and clear remedy for him, for his depressed state of mind,
repped as Aurum M. However, I was not 100% sure about it, so I used a
different line of questioning (all this is happening through email and
phone, although I have seen him before and am in constant contact with
him), and asked him the following: (this is the essence, not verbatim)

Q: Can you give me a list of things you would most like to change in
your life? Ideally, if you could change things, what would those be?

And here are his answers. I would like to ask you all please to suggest
rubrics for these statements and I will share with you the rubrics that
I have used already.

~~~~~~~~~~~
He writes:
A: you requested a list of things that I'd like most to happen to me, or
along these lines. It is hard for me to make the list.

1. I don't want to feel lonely
2. I want to be appreciated and honored.
3. I can't take insults, and am extremely easily insulted by the tiniest
hint of putting down my opinion during an argument.
4. I can't cope with people constantly trying to cheat me.
5. I can't stand last minute appointment cancellations.
6. I want to make money through what I know how to do.
7. oh yes. I want to have a female soulmate (out of the family, and a
good looking one) and maybe some sex, too.
8. If it works - I want to be healthy

It is a messy list, I know, but the best I can come up with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I started with this list and here are some rubrics I found. Please,
look them over and I am open to your comments, from all angles.

MIND - FORSAKEN feeling
MIND - FORSAKEN feeling - isolation, sensation of
MIND - LAMENTING - appreciated, because he is not
MIND - LONGING - good opinion of others; for
MIND - AILMENTS FROM - honor; wounded
MIND - RAGE, fury - insults, after
MIND - CONTRADICTION - intolerant of contradiction
MIND - ANGER - contradiction; from
MIND - DELUSIONS - deceived; being

( the remedy that comes up here is Palladium Metalicum. I don't have a
lot of experience with Palladium given for emotional reasons. I have
used it several times before for Ovarian problems in women with great
results, including one cancer case that was cured following this
remedy. So....)

I emailed him a request for clarification on the following:

~~~~~~~
3. I can't take insults, and am extremely easily insulted by the tiniest
hint of putting down my opinion during an argument. --- How does it
make you feel when you are being insulted? What does it FEEL like to
you?

4. I can't cope with people constantly trying to cheat me.
--- What do you FEEL like when it happens to you?:

5. I can't stand last minute appointment cancellations.
--- Again: How do you FEEL when an appointment is cancelled last
minute?

Please be specific in describing how it makes you feel.

~~~~~~~~~~
Now I am waiting for his clarifications, which I will post to the list.
If you come up with other clarification questions that I can ask him,
please let me know.
Thank you all for helping out,

Sara

I would not use both Longing for the good opinion of others and Lamenting
because he is not appreciated at the same time because they are so close
that they are essentially the same rubric and you are doubling the energy of
that particular element of the case, so to speak. I would choose one or the
other or one that you feel sums up the whole issue. In fact, I might not
even consider that as part of the case as he is not abnormally longing for
the good opinion of others, that is, being fixated on getting people to like
him. I think he just wants to be respected for doing something useful and
worthwhile which is not pathological. Therefore, I do not think that is
central or even important to the case. For the same reason, I would not use
the two forsaken rubrics at the same time - MIND - FORSAKEN feeling and
MIND - FORSAKEN feeling - isolation, sensation of. I would not use -
Delusions he has been deceived, as he has in fact been deceived, therefore,
it is not a delusion. This man is put upon, unappreciated, the object of his
wife's inconsideration and selfish ignorance. She wastes his money, she puts
him down, she treats him with no respect and she seems to care not at all
for him. He has withstood it thus far without abusing her or lashing out, it
seems. He is not suffering from any delusions that I can see, at least, from
anything that you have said. He is broken hearted (angina pectoris) and
anxious with resulting hypertension. He desperately needs some kind of a
victory so that he can get past the state of depression that he is in. His
wife is a huge maintaining cause so he dreams of a way to escape her, he
dreams of love. Repping these out:

Mind; GRIEF; general; deception, from (12)
Mind; SENSITIVE, oversensitive; general; reprimands, criticism, reproaches,
to (SRI-906) (29)
Generalities; HYPERTENSION (SRII-312) (112)
Mind; AILMENTS from; love, disappointed, unhappy (K63, SRI-20, G50) (40)
Chest; ANGINA pectoris, stenocardia (K880, K822, G695, G743) (128)
Mind; FORSAKEN feeling (K49, SRI-546, G39) (104)

you get - Aurum, Nat Mur, Verat, Lach, Ign, Nux Vom, Sac Alb, Stront-Iod
(see Scholten on Strontium and Iodine), Sep, Lyc and Dig. Of course, this is
all based on the very sketchy information provided thus far. The Ailments
from love rubric is a guess, as I have nothing firm to base that on so you
may want to strike that one. That would bring Puls a bit closer to the
front.

Allen

Sara,

I would use

Mind-offended easily
Mind delusions thieves sees

I think it is interesting he said the list is "messy". Makes me think he is
fastidious.

Also, did he REALLY almost DIE from withdrawal or is that his perception?

Not liking last minute cancellations, lots of fear/anxiety

Possibly Arsenicum? Aur-ars?

I would ask how did he REACT not feel. Feelings are too transient and
mutabile since they are merely neurochemical in origin. Reactions are more
to the nature of the individual.

Be well

russell swift, dvm

Dear Minutians,

Here are the man's clarifications to my questions. This reveals a new
layer of possibilities....
His answers are interspersed by my questions. I am editing here only by
adding the letters Q and A so it is clearer.

I am sure that now we see rubrics that were not at all obvious
before.....

Thanks for all your comments and helpful suggestions! We can see that
both forms of questioning, about how he FEELS when these incidents
occur, as well as how he REACTS to them, are very valid and very
helpful! I am looking now at many additional rubrics and awaiting your
wise comments!

Sara
Clarifications:

Q:
3. I can't take insults, and am extremely easily insulted by the tiniest
hint of putting down my opinion during an argument. --- How does it
make you feel when you are being insulted? What does it FEEL like to
you? Please elaborate.
A:
Well I'll clarify: let us say in an argument on a medical issue between
myself and am MD : as long as he is not saying, all that you're doing is
BS... (Negating me) - I'm fine. Arguments and different opinions are
fine,
but putting me down makes me feel POWERLESS, not worthy of anything,
and
quickly thereafter angry. I hold the grudge forever.(Classic inferiority
complex).

Q:
4. I can't cope with people constantly trying to cheat me.
--- What do you FEEL like when it happens to you?: Please elaborate

A:
It is very much the same feeling as in 3. Being powerless, weak, can't
"punish " those that cheated. Once burnt - will probably never make
peace
with the offender, or maybe after a very long time - but things will
never
be the same.

In 3 + $ my problem is magnified by the fact that I can't push the
insult/cheat aside and go about my business as usual, I tend to
introvert feeling
and dwell on my anger, and what I'd do to this person if I could
(picturing making him/her suffer through some legal steps, tricking
him/her
the same way, and many times - "SULKING " - don't talk to this person
anymore.

Q:
5. I can't stand last minute appointment cancellations.
--- Again: How do you FEEL when an appointment is cancelled last
minute? Please elaborate, here too...

A:
When appointment is cancelled I feel that it is not that the patient had
an
objective problem, but rather that he takes me, and my ability as a
healer
in a very secondary way, and: I feel a feeling of personal failure,
insult, powerlesness, maybe I'm not good enough...
Q:
Better than telling me how it FEELS with those
issues, to focus on how you REACT to them.

A:
Well, I think I already told you : I get very irritated, not always
instantly, tend to yell on innocent family members (I don't yell on
outsiders), every little thing that the family does not by "my book"
(very
strict, very precise, no mistakes are allowed = obsessive about details
like, "why didn't you wipe the table and left the crumbs on" etc).

Later I just dwell on the incident, and the snow ball rolls, and the
whole
incident is blown out of proportion. I feel it happening, understand
what is
happening, yet can't stop it. Ultimatelly, I don't know how or why it
just
disapears.

Sometimes, if something "good" happens (e,g. a new patient, or an
unexpected
one shows up... also : I tend to "draw strenght" from most patients. It
isn't just the satisfaction of helping somebody, but rather something
energetic, that can't be explained. On the other hand, some treatments,
for
no obvious reason - drain my energy, exhaust me and give me no pleasure
at
all).

What a story...

Enjoy (-:
-

He says "powerless" over and over. The theme seems to be powerlessness and
weakness. His anger suppurates and festers. He wants to get even. A sense
that he is being used. He seems to have come to play the role of victim. He
turns within. He seems to lack the grit to do anything about things. He
seems to need a dose of self confidence. This is from Reference Works on
Silica -

Each remedy exhibits its own distinct manifestation of Anger. In
Silica the anger lies deeply within and is not easily accessed or expressed.
Just as Silica is associated with suppuration on the physical plane, on the
emotional level anger and resentment tend to fester inside. In Silica
individuals, anger can be triggered by broken promises or unfulfilled
expectations. The anger can be difficult to perceive as it is often cloaked
in a soft voice and smiling face. Silica individuals do not openly express
anger but indulge in such covert behaviors as slamming doors, pouting, or
becoming "quiet." Thus the anger, rarely expressed directly, results
instead in impatience, smoldering passivity, or withdrawal. Repressed anger
is also often misdirected toward themselves. They get down on themselves
for imperfection and get down on themselves for getting down on themselves.
Often the Silica individual will exhibit Passive/aggressive behavior.
They lack the strength for big arguments so they don't get angry, they get
even. There will be a shutdown, either emotionally or physically, with the
underlying goal of punishing those around them. Silica is listed in bold
type in the rubric MIND, Morose, on page K68. There is an inability to take
a stand or defend themselves and they will often forgive too easily.
Timidity is a well-known feature of Silica. The Silica individual is
often perceived as being mild-mannered, quiet, and shy. Silica is listed in
the rubrics MIND, Mildness, in bold on page K88, and MIND, Sensitive, in
bold on page K78. The Silica temperament is indeed often soft and quiet;
however, the Silica individual may tenaciously maintain this countenance at
any expense, even while feeling suppressed anger or rage. Silica
individuals conceal their true selves from others, to protect themselves
from unwanted but expected criticism and rejection. They hide themselves to
obtain a sense of safety, but this buffer zone of apparent timidity succeeds
in preventing intimacy with others.
The rubric MIND, Timidity also reflects a quality of Cautiousness.
Silica people can be overly cautious. Their timid approach to life
restricts their experience. They may refuse to take even small risks. In
addition, Silica individuals have great difficulty asking for help. Their
sensitive nervous systems are easily aroused and they withdraw from all
conflict and threatening events.
Silica individuals have a profound Fear of failure. They avoid
situations that hold the slightest potential for failure, whether academic,
social, or sexual. The fear of failure is so strong that it produces
unconscious behavior that assures failure in many of the activities they
engage in. Silica is listed in the rubric Delusions of being doomed, on page
S1 272. Silica individuals have an extreme dread of being called on to
answer questions or perform in front of other people. They become
overwhelmed by anxiety and wish to hide themselves, to disappear. The
timidity becomes a shield that keeps them from being noticed. In his
Materia Medica J.T. Kent writes,
"The peculiar Silica state is found in dread of failure. If he has any
unusual mental task to perform, he fears he will make a failure of it, yet
he does it well."
One Silica woman studied diligently, maintained an excellent
grade-point average, scored very high on the law board examination and was
accepted to three law schools. Once beginning law school she became
increasingly intimidated in class, praying that the professor would not call
on her even though she had studied thoroughly and knew the answers. She
withdrew from school before the first quarter was over.
A prominent characteristic of the Silica personality is extreme
Self-consciousness. Like Staphysagria, Baryta Carbonica, and Carcinosinum,
Silica individuals internally question themselves: "What do they think of
me?" How can I make sure that they like me?" "Am I inadequate?" The
internal voice repeats phrases like: I am inferior, ugly, stupid, or
worthless. Because of their self-consciousness, Silica people avoid the
spotlight and this reflects their tendency to remain in the backround.
Silica is listed in the rubric MIND, Quiet disposition, on page K70.
Silica individuals are reluctant to engage in conversation; they talk in a
soft voice and avoid eye contact. They can become so anxious during a
conversation that they lose the train of thought. Silica is listed in
italics and is the only remedy in the rubric MIND, Confusion of mind,
conversation aggravates, on page K14.
Silica people develop specific tactics to deflect attention from
themselves or their shortcomings:
If challenged in a conversation they will abruptly change the subject:
"How much longer will this take? I have an appointment."
They will make excuses for their (perceived) poor performance in
activities: "Florescent lights mess up my concentration."
"Tennis isn't my thing. I'm into chess."
They may devalue a failed task: "Eating with chopsticks is a waste of
time if forks are available."
Silica individuals will then attempt to elicit reassurance: "I hope I
didn't mess you guys up too badly. Did I?"
Poor self-esteem is another hallmark of the wall. Lack of self-esteem
is found in the rubric MIND, Want of self-confidence, page K13, where Silica
is listed in italics. Poor self-image is a natural extension of
perfectionism. Silica people can never be as perfect, in every minute
respect, as their unrealistic expectations dictate they must be. Silica
individuals hold a distorted view of themselves; they are not able to see
the beauty within. No matter how well they do or how good they appear, it
will not be good enough. This leads to self-abusive behavior. One case
illustrated this point beautifully: A woman was driven to undergo multiple
cosmetic surgeries, such as breast reduction, in a desperate attempt to
obtain a body image that would satisfy her need for perfection and allay her
tremendous self-hatred. This behavior, however, did not quiet her internal
fears.
Silica is not found in the rubric, MIND, Complaining, but it is found
in MIND, Censorious, page K10, and MIND, Lamenting, page K61. Lamenting
does describe a particular form of criticism, whining, and complaining that
is seen in the Silica personality. This negative and judgmental attitude
acts as a barrier; it further distances Silica individuals from other
people. Silica people may also form emotional bonds with others based on
mutual complaints and suffering. Silica is listed in the rubric MIND,
Delusions, fail, everything will, page K25.
The Silica person has Feelings of emptiness, isolation, and being
unloved. Silica people cannot get enough into their lives to fill this
void. They often feel unwanted, unappreciated, unnoticed. They are
incapable of filling their own emotional vacuum and will never be fully
satisfied by the offerings of those in their emotional environment.
The role of Victim can be assumed by individuals needing Silica. They
believe that they are powerless, that people are doing things to them, that
they are being victimized by others. This results in a pattern of being
repeatedly "used," a tendency to become involved in relationships in which
the other person gets what they want from them and then drops them. Silica
people may have a naive "Pollyanna attitude" toward life and relationships.
Conversely, they can also become excessively suspicious or cynical,
believing that everyone has an underlying selfish motive for whatever they
do. Silica is one of the few remedies in the rubric MIND, Delusions that he
is about to receive injury, page K28.
An example of this victim role can be seen in the way that Silica
parents interact with their children. In a sense they are controlled by
their children. Because Silica individuals are out of touch with their own
center, the needs of others can serve as the entire focus of their lives.
Their children's development, education, struggles, or desires may consume
them. They have the need to fulfill all of the wishes of their children
immediately. They may have fixed ideas or become obsessed with their
children. They may tolerate or subtly encourage disrespect from their
children.

Allen

Dear Sara,

After a quick read......I see "Fixed Ideas" as a possibly big feature (the
crumbs - no tolerance for small things out of order) of the case......Sil
comes to mind, but I don't know enough remedies yet ....so maybe others have
more to offer than me;).

Just a thought,

Lisa