Minutus

Dear All,

A current trend that I have noticed in some of boroughs of London I grew up in, is that of teenage girls talking about guys in terms of 'i'm gonna have his baby' instead of ' I really like him'
and 'I don't care what anyone says I want my own baby' ...

you may say so what ... but these girls are 14 years old and below. The youngest I've talked to was twelve, (menarche at 9) common factors I've picked up on :-

early menses
early involvement in alcohol/drugs
aggressive/dysfunctional relations to mother
mother also had early/teenage pregnancies
low self-esteem coupled with peer pressure to sexualize
going out with boys over 16 (how much coercion is involved god knows, also factors in male pedophiliac question)

the causation as far as talking to them leads me to believe it's :
extreme neediness (inner child just wants to be nutured)
need to show mum where she went wrong

I understand this is a very common trend in urban situations now where the mothers of these kids instead of enjoying freedom from the childrearing treadmill are put through it all over again with grandchildren. Now these ladies are usually in early thirties not the grey dears of yesteryear.

UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe ... I do not think it's because
of lack of moral fibre but just some really marginalised kids trying to be adult before their time ...purely because they think menses=adult and they have nothing to lose when in reality the sad thing is they haven't lifted their sights high enough to notice how much they have to lose...

How can we as homepaths help reverse this trend ?

peace and hope

Jas

Have you ever considered asking a teenager what they think of the problem?
In all the cases that I've seen with teen pregnacy (whether planed or not)
their lives were already out of controle. How can you expect for any person
to make a dession with out giving them any power over their lives?
~Tiffany

From: Jasbir Kaur Villaschi
Reply-To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Minutus] a worrying teenage trend
Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 19:47:52 +0000

Dear All,

A current trend that I have noticed in some of boroughs of London I grew up
in, is that of teenage girls talking about guys in terms of 'i'm gonna have
his baby' instead of ' I really like him'
and 'I don't care what anyone says I want my own baby' ...

you may say so what ... but these girls are 14 years old and below. The
youngest I've talked to was twelve, (menarche at 9) common factors I've
picked up on :-

early menses
early involvement in alcohol/drugs
aggressive/dysfunctional relations to mother
mother also had early/teenage pregnancies
low self-esteem coupled with peer pressure to sexualize
going out with boys over 16 (how much coercion is involved god knows, also
factors in male pedophiliac question)

the causation as far as talking to them leads me to believe it's :
extreme neediness (inner child just wants to be nutured)
need to show mum where she went wrong

I understand this is a very common trend in urban situations now where the
mothers of these kids instead of enjoying freedom from the childrearing
treadmill are put through it all over again with grandchildren. Now these
ladies are usually in early thirties not the grey dears of yesteryear.

UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe ... I do not think it's
because
of lack of moral fibre but just some really marginalised kids trying to be
adult before their time ...purely because they think menses=adult and they
have nothing to lose when in reality the sad thing is they haven't lifted
their sights high enough to notice how much they have to lose...

How can we as homepaths help reverse this trend ?

peace and hope

Jas
"Talk, all talk. Blah, blah, Gaia, blah, blah, Moon, menstrual life force
power thingy...Bunch of wanna blessed bes. You know now a days every girl
with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark
ones."

_________________________________________________________________
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Dear Jas

Off the top, dealing with low self-esteem would fit into homeopathic practive. Also, issues of abandonnment, fear, consequences of abuse/incest/rape. Add co-dependency, too. The nature of the problem is enormous because it also takes in the psycho-social effects of poverty; ie, dealing with the institutionalization of poverty or the marginal-making conditions of a culture.

tanya

EDUCATION and proper counselling is what is called for not infanticide!

Are you saying that the young woman was ignorant of having unprotected sex?
Or was she too drunk to care?
Or just wanted to get pregnant?

Why/What?

Soroush

hey there Soroush,

I wasn't making a judgement call on the girls because as I stated they were hardly out
of childhood, wouldn't you think that the older guys taking advantadge of them a greater problem ??

you are doing exactly what I said most people were ...equating menses to womanhood ... a child of 9 or 10 is not and will not be capable of adult decisions
till a lot later .... she is not a woman just a child

I do not find a boy of 18 going to bed with a 12 year old girl a normal
or healthy situation ... she is still too immpressionable and vulnerable. In the UK
sex education at schools does not start until the ages of 13-14 (secondary school) so
until then they can only go on hearsay.

I am worried about these kids having their lives put on fast forward by media, culture and older men. When do they get a chance to get to grips with themselves as people ?? It seems everything is sacrificed at the altar of keeping up with some myth out there ...of creating babies as a kind of macbre trophy rather than really caring about
her own real needs

there is no safety netting under these girls ...and the age of menarche is dropping lower year on year... what can we do to Help?

Jas
Finrod wrote:

Yes it is so painful to pick up the pieces ........

I have always thought that early sex education together with social
responsibility lessons and instalment of moral value (very much on the lines
of what you said in your msg a couple of days ago) by the family is the only
answer.

Rgds
Soroush

It depends on who your talking about. I have had personal experence with
many teen mothers and fathers. None were drunk, if by "ignorant of having
unprotected sex" that they didn't know their partner wasn't wearing condom,
yes they were aware. As for wanting to get pregnant personally I couldn't
tell you. But isn't that what sex is for. One thing is that of all the
teen/early parents I know none regret having children. Most of these people
were sexually active for over two years before pregnancy, so sex wasn't an
accident it was a decision. It takes a few bad choices from a few people and
you get a sterio type.
I'm not saying that it had nothing to do with their back ground or family
life. My personal theory is that these kids are forced to grow up before
they should and in turn have children in a early age. It's a cycle. My
mother had me at 18 her mother had her at 18 and her mother had her first
child at 17 (two years after she was married) It's not that; most teen
parents don't see a problem with a 16/17 year old woman having a child. They
are aware of the chance they take in having sex and welcome the thought of
children. The ones who claim "my life is ruined now that I'm pregnant" are
the children that came later in life. This is just my personal experence,
some times the best thing that happend to teens' life is having a child.
~Tiffany
From: "Finrod"
Reply-To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
To:
Subject: Re: [Minutus] a worrying teenage trend
Date: Wed, 13 Feb 2002 09:23:49 -0000

EDUCATION and proper counselling is what is called for not infanticide!

Are you saying that the young woman was ignorant of having unprotected sex?
Or was she too drunk to care?
Or just wanted to get pregnant?

Why/What?

Soroush

They have to find a better reason not to have sex (and children) that to
have it.

From: Jasbir Kaur Villaschi
Reply-To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Minutus] a worrying teenage trend
Date: Wed, 13 Feb 2002 14:50:29 +0000

hey there Soroush,

I wasn't making a judgement call on the girls because as I stated they were
hardly out
of childhood, wouldn't you think that the older guys taking advantadge of
them a greater problem ??

you are doing exactly what I said most people were ...equating menses to
womanhood ... a child of 9 or 10 is not and will not be capable of adult
decisions
till a lot later .... she is not a woman just a child

I do not find a boy of 18 going to bed with a 12 year old girl a normal
or healthy situation ... she is still too immpressionable and vulnerable. In
the UK
sex education at schools does not start until the ages of 13-14 (secondary
school) so
until then they can only go on hearsay.

I am worried about these kids having their lives put on fast forward by
media, culture and older men. When do they get a chance to get to grips with
themselves as people ?? It seems everything is sacrificed at the altar of
keeping up with some myth out there ...of creating babies as a kind of
macbre trophy rather than really caring about
her own real needs

there is no safety netting under these girls ...and the age of menarche is
dropping lower year on year... what can we do to Help?

Jas
Finrod wrote:

sex?
problem?
not)
grew
also
the
these
be
they
lifted
force
girl
Homoeopathy
out
site
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***********************************************
"Talk, all talk. Blah, blah, Gaia, blah, blah, Moon, menstrual life force
power thingy...Bunch of wanna blessed bes. You know now a days every girl
with a henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark
ones."
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

Why is every one talking like it's such a bad thing, a child is a blessing
not a punishment, no matter what your age. I'm sorry but it's destrubing
that teen pregnancy has such a dark shadow around it.
~Tiffany

From: "Finrod"
Reply-To: minutus@yahoogroups.com
To:
Subject: Re: [Minutus] a worrying teenage trend
Date: Wed, 13 Feb 2002 15:08:01 -0000
Yes it is so painful to pick up the pieces ........

I have always thought that early sex education together with social
responsibility lessons and instalment of moral value (very much on the lines
of what you said in your msg a couple of days ago) by the family is the
only answer.

Rgds
Soroush