Open discussion
Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 2:48 am
Dear Shannon,
I am fairly new, but I am developing a growing list of topics that will step on some sensitive toes. The list is titled "to be avoided."
Then there is a list of personal sensitivities. Those I am not so likely to avoid.
But, if I had not read some of the rather rude discussions and kept a vague sense of the person attached to the comment, I wouldn't know the difference. I still don't always know. One thing I have learned, if a person is generally sharp tongued, narrow, or unwilling to entertain new ideas, I just try to remember and then let it go when I see it again. It's not my problem, then. Actually, I enjoy the personal sensitivities that emerge from the discussion. It is part of my understanding of the topic. So not every bit of rudeness is off the wall for me.
I think in this list and in another one I have been guilty of the sharp tongue syndrome. The thing is, I don't know where the comment is coming from. Sometimes it is from a raw beginner and I am treating them like "they should know better." That isn't fair. Typically I jump in at the middle of the discussion having lost the beginning of the thread. I get sharp and no doubt I am stepping on toes. Something to be avoided, but in the interest of being genuine, it may not be always possible. I am trying to be more careful. After I have made some rude or mean comment, I realize that I have my own problem. Typically, I don't apologize, but I should. It takes some time to process that kind of awareness and by that time often the discussion has disappeared. Still no excuse.
Also, it is not fun to read intolerant harangues about topics which we know can be approached from difference of points of view. If that didn't exist, what's the point of talking about most of what we have to say. You are better off reading a well edited book.
It is fun understanding why there are differences of opinion. I really appreciate writers who are willing to withstand innocent but at times presumptuous and cutting questions. They often provide insight that I would never have developed on my own or found in a book. How to ask a good question and how to answer without creating bad feeling is not easy. Often brilliant or insightful answers come out of raucous discussion. I think it is ok to talk about our difficulties in this area. The topics that are beyond civil discussion on Minutus are personal lists. Maybe they will change. I am open to that.
Best,
Ellen
I am fairly new, but I am developing a growing list of topics that will step on some sensitive toes. The list is titled "to be avoided."
Then there is a list of personal sensitivities. Those I am not so likely to avoid.
But, if I had not read some of the rather rude discussions and kept a vague sense of the person attached to the comment, I wouldn't know the difference. I still don't always know. One thing I have learned, if a person is generally sharp tongued, narrow, or unwilling to entertain new ideas, I just try to remember and then let it go when I see it again. It's not my problem, then. Actually, I enjoy the personal sensitivities that emerge from the discussion. It is part of my understanding of the topic. So not every bit of rudeness is off the wall for me.
I think in this list and in another one I have been guilty of the sharp tongue syndrome. The thing is, I don't know where the comment is coming from. Sometimes it is from a raw beginner and I am treating them like "they should know better." That isn't fair. Typically I jump in at the middle of the discussion having lost the beginning of the thread. I get sharp and no doubt I am stepping on toes. Something to be avoided, but in the interest of being genuine, it may not be always possible. I am trying to be more careful. After I have made some rude or mean comment, I realize that I have my own problem. Typically, I don't apologize, but I should. It takes some time to process that kind of awareness and by that time often the discussion has disappeared. Still no excuse.
Also, it is not fun to read intolerant harangues about topics which we know can be approached from difference of points of view. If that didn't exist, what's the point of talking about most of what we have to say. You are better off reading a well edited book.
It is fun understanding why there are differences of opinion. I really appreciate writers who are willing to withstand innocent but at times presumptuous and cutting questions. They often provide insight that I would never have developed on my own or found in a book. How to ask a good question and how to answer without creating bad feeling is not easy. Often brilliant or insightful answers come out of raucous discussion. I think it is ok to talk about our difficulties in this area. The topics that are beyond civil discussion on Minutus are personal lists. Maybe they will change. I am open to that.
Best,
Ellen