olofgrace wrote:
This is an opinion without any training behind it - just a view I hold,
perhaps influenced by helping my mother with her class of 65
first-graders most years for her life of teaching:
I believe:
He sees the activity as one that pleases you and small children will do
whatever they think the parent approves of. That does not mean he NEEDS
oral stimulation - he is doing it out of habit by now - and in fact I
feel you are doing him no favour by encouraging it at age six. to my way
of thinking "not begrudging" is the same as encouraging at this point.
In fact I feel you are setting him up for ridicule at school and in
other social situations by your tacit approval of this behaviour not
suited to age 6 and above. (Where would yo put a stop to it? age 19? and
why? You need to draw the line and I think it is none too soon.
You mention household damage bit *I* would think of it from his
perspective:
Do you want him to feel ridicule? IS that really in HIS interests?
Do you WANT him to be so short of self-confidence that he needs an oral
stimulation substitute?
A suggestion:
Have you discussed this with him? What I have seen work is to do that
and to explain that as he's now 6, this is not something 6 year olds do,
and while the sucking items have been really relevant and useful in the
past, there comes a time in life when one has to let go of some things.
So arrange with his help - a very specific ceremony to do this - plan it
at a nice park with a river, have various ceremonies to say thanks and
good bye to the current LAST item sucked - and with his agreement,
ceremoniously have him toss it into the river with flowers or whatever
to send it on its way for good, with thanks for its job completed.
Then from there (part 2 of of same ceremony) go to a place to enroll
him in some kind of 6 year old activity like tumbling or swimming or
other physical confidence building activity incompatible with sucking
things.
And reward his progress as a big kid. Give him the attention he was
seeking from sucking by rewarding more mature behaviour with a lot of
attention. Sucking something in my view is a sign of lack of
self-confidence and nothing builds self confidence like ability to do
something - such as swimming, tumbling or any other activity that not
everyone can do.
I'd be more concerned about his upcoming embarassment and lack of
self-confidence. Hosehold goods are easier to fix that a boy with no
self-confidence who is being ridiculed by his peers - and in my opinion
THAT will do far more harm to him, than letting this become a "household
object" issue. That alone would undermine him further in my view. HE
needs to be the important aspect. The "crutch" of the sucking needs to
be replaced by something more appropriate for HIS benefit.
(It will fix the house issue as a side effect rather than as the main
issue.)
Again - this is just my view based on the things stated above as background.
You could add in some Bach Larch and Wild oat, to build confidence.
And if that still does not cover it, then perhaps there is a pathology
that needs homeopathy.
Namaste,
Irene
--
Irene de Villiers, B.Sc AASCA MCSSA D.I.Hom/D.Vet.Hom.
P.O. Box 4703 Spokane WA 99220.
www.angelfire.com/fl/furryboots/clickhere.html (Veterinary Homeopath.)
"Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt one doing it."
)