Minutus

Has anyone ever lost friends because of their disapproval of homeopathy?
How do you cope with it?

I recently had a former fairly close friend tell me we aren't going to be
friends anymore because "our values" are too different. From our last
disagreements, I know it is because she disapproves of my using homeopathy
instead of seeing regular MDs for my son. She's stopped inviting my
daughter over for playdates where she used to invite us over 1x or 2x a
week.

I know a lot of other people in our circle disapprove as well, but they
don't say anything. Even those who use alternative medicine are wondering
if we are doing the right thing. I am feeling very lonely because I don't
know anyone in person who would rely exclusively on homeopathy like we do.

Any thoughts you can share would help. Thanks.

Helen

Dear Helen

Losing friends is very tough but it makes one wonder whether they were 'real
friends'.

It would be of interest to find out what it was that has made them change
their relationships and children's' playmates.

These things may arise out of ignorance and or prejudice. So you will have
a tough job of trying calmly to re-educate them.

What is uncertain is their view of the effect of your children receiving
homoeopathy on their children?
Or is it an issue of vaccination?

You may want to show them: What's in a Flu Shot?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... id=zeitgei
st

However, you may find new friends by introducing homoeopathy to others that
perhaps you do not know so well now.

I wish you all the best

Rgds
Soroush

Hi Helen,
I feel for you!!!
Yet I also wonder just why it is that your own (presumably personal,
private) healthcare and lifestyle choices became such an issue...
Maybe you were trying to build some community for yourself by bringing
your friends around to your viewpoint on this? Personally I found that
idea both extremely tempting (after all, my own ideas and decisions
seem *so reasonable* to me, I figure everyone else would agree if I
could just explain myself properly! ), but ultimately risky--like
religion and politics, personal lifestyle choices can become
surprisingly divisive if not gently handled!

Facing that "stranger in a strange land" situation myself, I early on
made the decision that I did not want those different *personal*
choices and understandings to build walls around me, and made the
choice to offer my views *if* it seemed appropriate, but to be easily
willing to shrug off disagreements with phrases such as, "Well maybe
so. I just have to make the choices that seem the best to me, for my
own family. But of course not everyone agrees!" (Or more usually,
just e.g. a smile and a shrug, and change the subject.) If someone
*wants* to discuss, and is able to do so reasonably, then I'm all for
it!! But if not, I figure they'll reach their own conclusions in their
own time... In that way I've been able to maintain friendships with
people on "the other side" of various fences (e.g. one of our favorite
families owns and runs a commercial dairy farm, complete with rBGH,
sigh; but they're wonderful people and doing their best with the
issues). I figure that in this way I'm available (and my "colors" are
known!) when someone wants to talk about any of this stuff (homeopathy;
spiritual stuff; diet-nutrition, whatever), and I am a "human face" and
an accessible voice on the issue.

Is that a cop-out? I don't think so, because I *do* think these
are some difficult questions, in a difficult context (e.g. the hugely
skewed information base!), and they *are* matters of personal choice,
situation, understanding, etc...

Maybe this has nothing to do with why your "friend" has decided to cut
you off... But if it might be, then there *might* be some use in
sending her a note, saying something like, "Friends do not have to
agree on everything, maybe we can just "agree to disagree" about these
things, because my family would be so sorry to lose the friendship of
yours"... Just some thoughts--I wish you the best with that difficult
situation!!!

And--see if you can *also* find some more like-minded friends! Maybe
find or start a study group, or ??
Shannon

Hi Helen,

I think, in some ways, this happens to us all. I remember that of the number of students in my homeopathy classes, almost 1/2 of the people broke up with their mates by the time we all graduated. The fact is, our thinking and our worldviews do change dramatically when we become aware of some of the truths in homeopathy, and changes result.

It's sad, but ultimately you know who you are a little better. And you can create better relationships all around with those who are not so put off by your beliefs.

Good luck,
Nancy
________________________________

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Connect to the next generation of MSN Messenger
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My mother used to love the words, “We agree, not to think alike, but to walk together.”
I wish I could attribute that beautiful saying to someone, but I just remember hearing her quote it. No idea who first said/wrote it, but it has often helped me in situations (and there are oh so many!) where as a green, yoga-loving, lay homeopath, I feel like the odd man out.
BTW, too bad it is no more, but NCH Summer School was one place where I really felt at home! Teresa (Northern VA, USA)
Shannon wrote:
________________________________

HI Nancy,

I think what you say is different.

I think what happens to patients and or students of homoeopathy (who are
often patients too) is that under treatment they become healthy and suddenly
recognise that they are in repressive relationship, become self-assured and
more assertive and self confident and leave oppressive situations
relationships, jobs etc.

Here we have a 'friend' suddenly leaving.

Rgds
Soroush

Hi Teresa,
What a lovely saying!!!
Do you know why the NCH summer school sessions have stopped?
Shannon

well you now know many people, on this list, who dont deal with allopathy
(unless in a life/death situation as in a traumatic injury). i have lots
of people
who think i am nuts and/or do not believe me when i say i dont see
allopaths.
they are constantly telling me i should see a md or what has the md 'told
me'
about some condition or other. i recently had to tell a social worker who
is
following up on a 10 yr old that was living with me that i had no family md
for her since i had her medical/health care under control with holistic
protocols.
i was surprised that she didn't freak on me.

while it is not so good that people turn away from me; ie, the message, i
also
know that some people are so caught up in their faith based belief systems
and their co-dependency on allopathic systems, there will never be anything
i can do to convince them of the truth in my words. the only thing that
seems
to get to people like this is when they are the end of their rope on some
health
issue that never gets well and only gets worse, particularly with a child.
that is
when they are willing to try something different.

so keep the faith and look for people who are like minded to socialize with.

tanya
number of students in my homeopathy classes, almost 1/2 of the people broke
up with their mates by the time we all graduated. The fact is, our
thinking and our worldviews do change dramatically when we become aware of
some of the truths in homeopathy, and changes result.
can create better relationships all around with those who are not so put
off by your beliefs.
be
homeopathy
wondering
don't
do.
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For those of you out there who have lost your boy friends, girl
friends, spouses and grand parents because of homeopathy:

(Tongue in Cheek)

I suggest 2 books:
1)How to win friends, influence people and keep your spouses (
alongside Homeopathy) – Stale Carnegie
2) Men are from AMA and Women are from Minutus – John Gray

These are 2 required readings and later I shall give some advance advice..

Meanwhile I hear that there are plans to publish Eleven Commandments
with one commandment added – "Thou shalt not practice, consume or
preach Homeopathy or be friends with those who do".

I once had a bad experience with my barber since he refused to cut my
hair because I had treated it with Arnica hair oil. This used to be a
friendly barber and so I was so put off that I grew my hair long after
that. But I still did not give up my devotion to homeopathy
(background - Wow).

Some home-help tips about keeping friends

The best way to prevent friends from getting away is to get away first
yourself.

Or a homeopathic approach would be to say "See I am interested in
homeopathy. Generally that is a powerful solvent of friendships. So I
suggest that you defriend yourself from me." Because of some complex
primary action and secondary action process, this might keep your
friends with you. A variation of this in domestic settings could be "I
have fallen in love with homeopathy and this makes spouse a louse. So
please go away". Your husband (or wife) might be strangely attracted
to you after this.

Or we can ask Nuala to create a proving of friendship or yearning for
friends. Or one of these meditative provers might give us a proving of
friendship by staring at a vial of alcohol with as much of friendly
thoughts they could muster while staring a bottle of liquid. This
Friend 30c or LM1 ( for 6th edition followers) might be a very good
remedy.
( We could drop a pen inside the bottle and it will treat pen friends
as well). From looking at the discussions there is a lot of need for
this in the anti-homeopathy world.

Or we could get a stone from AMA and potentize it and treat the
distracters with this.

Really I would suggest either confronting and discussing it with the
person if you are still interested in keeping the friendship or do a
mental or physical shrug and get on with it. End of friendship is not
the end of the world- and there are so many other better people in the
world.

One who stands alone stands strong etc…
--- In minutus@yahoogroups.com, "Dale Moss" wrote:
cudgels against anything that engaged my attention and passion. But
that's because of who he is; it has nothing to do with homeopathy.
looking for an excuse to break off a relationship and they seize upon
anything that will provide a justification for their actions. Folks
who are rigid and self-righteous don't make the truest of friends.
homeopathy?
going to be
homeopathy
2x a
they
wondering
I don't
like we do.

lol!


Simon