homeo jokes

[ForumGal]

I agree with Joy -- more laughs for more people. Best, Margaret in Boston

In a message dated 12/23/05 4:49:08 PM, minutus@yahoogroups.com writes:
Here's some more:

HOMEOPATHY JOKES
How many homeopaths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One hundred. One to screw it in and 99 to argue about methodology.
The homeopath takes the case, then hands his doubting client a remedy.
"This ought to fix you right up," the homeopath says.
"Oh yeah?" says the client. "Prove it."
What do you call a pompous practitioner? A hom-ego-path. (You say
I'm not the first to have thought of this one? That it's as old as the
profession itself?)
A guy dies, goes to heaven and arrives at Pearly Gates, where he meets
St. Peter. "So, what did you do for work down there?" says St. Peter.
"I was a homeopath," the guy says.
"Close enough," says St. Peter, and waves him in.
A woman has been working in her office way past closing time, trying to
finish a project. As she's she's leaving for the night, she walks past a
colleague still working in a cubby down the hall, and hears the man heave a big,
dejected sigh.
"Aw," says the woman, also noting his long face, "you look like you
could use a little sympathy."
"No, no, nat mur," the guy says.
"I get so upset when when the boss criticizes me," says the female exec.
"Thuja?," says her colleague.
A husband and wife are shopping for furniture for their home office, and
they're looking around in an upscale new-agey store. The husband comes
across something he's only seen in magazines before.
"Honey," he says excitedly, as a sales clerk looks on, "look at this,
one of those new kind of desks where you stand up at it instead of sitting!"
"Yes, yes, of course, I know," says his wife, hoping to show the clerk
she's up on the latest fashion, "lycopodium."
A guy comes running into a bar with a small abrasion on his hand.
"Man," he says to the bartender, "I just bumped into a signpost and I'm in
incredible pain here! Have you got anything I can put on this wound?"
The bartender, thinking the guy is making a big deal out of nothing,
throws a few ice cubes in a small bowl, pushes it across the bar to the guy, and
says, "Hepar sulf."
It's a lovely day in California, and a man comes walking down the street
with a woman on one arm -- and a man on the other! "Humph," says the
stuffed shirt going the other way, "a kali bi."
The proud father of a cheerful, lively 1-year-old is playing with the
boy, Russell, in the backyard when all of a sudden, the child blurts out his
very first word. The thrilled father yells to his wife in the kitchen, "Honey,
honey, Rhus tox!!"

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Platina?'"
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