fear of deep water, or ?
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Shannon Nelson
- Posts: 8848
- Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 10:00 pm
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Just FWIW (and not to take away from the interesting and useful discussion), I did not get the sense that she swims in the dark *because* it frightens her, but rather in spite of, and only occasionally--she usually swims by day...
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Joy:
What remedies fall under this:"'mind, danger, desires to be exposed to, to be
unprotected, when at risk he feels relieved'".
Is the girl depressed? Like some people who are depressed and numb cut
themselves so they feel something?
What remedies fall under this:"'mind, danger, desires to be exposed to, to be
unprotected, when at risk he feels relieved'".
Is the girl depressed? Like some people who are depressed and numb cut
themselves so they feel something?
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Tanya Marquette
- Posts: 5602
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2001 11:00 pm
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Neod??????
(((( Assume this refers to Neodymium.
Tidbit to add: I recall from the proving of Taxus brevifolia (Pacific Yew)
that demonstrated among provers were a sense of terror AND a state of
unusual CALM. Not sure if both occurred in any ONE prover, but the
totality of the proving has these contradictory facets (probably a
sufficiently peculiar feature to warrant a look at this rx for the case
being discussed if only to rule it out ).
A
(((( Assume this refers to Neodymium.
Tidbit to add: I recall from the proving of Taxus brevifolia (Pacific Yew)
that demonstrated among provers were a sense of terror AND a state of
unusual CALM. Not sure if both occurred in any ONE prover, but the
totality of the proving has these contradictory facets (probably a
sufficiently peculiar feature to warrant a look at this rx for the case
being discussed if only to rule it out ).
A
-
Tanya Marquette
- Posts: 5602
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2001 11:00 pm
-
Lynn Cremona
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 10:00 pm
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Hey All:
from the Proving:
Taxux brevifolia - Pacific Yew
In the mind section, the following categories were created:
Calm.
This was one of the strongest themes in the proving. Provers used the word "calm" a lot, and it was expressed throughout the whole duration of the proving. Other words used were placid, casual, apathetic, relaxed, peaceful, flow and patient.
Calmness in time of danger, cancer, death.
The polarity of these themes is also very significant. In the face of danger and disease there remained a strong feeling of calmness. Three people dreamt of cancer, either having cancer or being with someone who had cancer. Even the person who dreamt he had cancer was calm in the face of this knowledge. Another theme that 3 provers had was being calm in the face of water — a storm, water coming into the house, and a rushing stream.
Terror, violence, abuse, torture, piercing, arrows, battle.
One prover had the idea of battles going through her mind when in a kind of altered state and a song that she recognized to be the Battle Hymn of the Republic. One of the coordinators also had a strange desire to listen to the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which is a traditional song in the USA.
There were many dark feelings of abuse, pain, violence and terror.
One prover, who had had many years of violent abuse as a child felt cured after the remedy. This prover also dreamt of arrows, which was highly unusual. The feeling of being pierced, of sharpness, penetration and cutting is a general characteristic, both physically and psychologically.
Another prover had many images and sensations about the holocaust. This was part of her family history. She experienced strong feelings of despair and torment on the remedy. The strong feelings of being abused and experimented on, especially in the regions of the ovaries and uterus were consistent of other provers as well.
There was a sense of power and aggression, and on the other side of being abused and a victim.
Rain, water, rushing, flow.
There was a distinct theme of water in the proving — water rushing, stormy, water coming in, water on the floor.
Calmness in time of Danger, Cancer, Death
I was not easily angered, or made anxious. I noticed this when I was stuck in traffic and late for a 5:00 meeting. I just didn't let it get to me. I was 45 minutes late for the meeting (I, as a rule, am never late). I just rolled with the punches.
18, 200C, 01:XX:XX
Not worrying about anything I have to do, but should be. Is it procrastination? (common to me) or just a "laissez-faire" way of doing things? More patient than usual. I actually avoided arguments due to the way I was handling things.
18, 200C, 02:XX:XX
My daughter witnessed a mugging today of a good friend and neighbor. While she was upset, I was calm and went and treated the boy with Arnica, helped the parents, etc. I was angry at the safety of our nearby street being violated.
18, 200C, 06:XX:XX
Calmer about my husband's situation, although tests are still being done ... and already he had a problem with the blood thinner.
18, 200C, 14:XX:XX
I'm feeling much more patient with my daughter. Had a confrontation with my mother, but I'm feeling calm and somewhat distanced from it.
05, 12C, 05:XX:XX
At daughter's school. A teacher was gossiping and bad-mouthing the school. I said something to her (not my usual thing to do), and then stayed there (also not my usual thing to do) to explain and explore the issue with her and the other teacher present. Unusual that I was feeling calm and self-assured in a situation that I would normally consider dangerous. The teacher I confronted in the dream is one who in real life said something mean about my daughter and I have been upset with her ever since (1-2 yrs. ago).
06, 30C, 01:XX:XX
At a lake with daughter. Waded into scummy water. She came along as asked. Then when we began to swim she disappeared under water. Looking for her but not panicked. Woke up from this dream.
06, 30C, 01:XX:XX
Dreamed I was at some sort of a crime scene and I could see the bad guys. I was only a little afraid. Then I found myself pursued and had to hide. I was somehow directing or in charge of the escape / hiding.
06, 30C, 02:XX:XX
In an academic environment, with my college roommate as a main character. I remember being on the school shuttle tram, with Drew Carey and my roommate. Although conversation was light, there was much discussion regarding cancer.
18, 200C, 01:XX:XX
Dreams! Ick! I had cancer! A kind of skin cancer - spots on my left shoulder and left pectoral. I was "marked". (People could see that he had this cancer - as if it were Kaposi's sarcoma - a feeling of not wanting to be looked at, did not want their sympathy. More about that and less about being concerned about the disease.) People were kind, but I hated that they knew I had it. I also remember being on the water, sailing on a large, raft-like vessel in the twilight. We docked at a point with lots of lights everywhere, soft and dim, like stars. People asked about the cancer and I wanted it to not be a part of our conversation. (In the dream, he was not worried that he had cancer, only that others may see it. He said he felt calm about it).
19, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Mom was dying of cancer and I was leading a group to that place (like a hotel), but not necessarily to see her. Mother's caregiver was very nice. She (caregiver) was sleeping in a hole in the ground. Mom was asleep with an oxygen mask on. I led the group out of there when the walls came crashing down. I told them it was "death". I was calm and in control of leading the group - not upset.
06, 30C, 19:XX:XX
With a group hiking high up in some hills and then getting into a wide, rushing stream of water and sliding head first down the river for a long way. Felt in control - even in the fast water.
06, 30C, 14:XX:XX
Water came into the house in three places. I was very calm and relaxed about it. Everything can be taken care of.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Woke to sound of strong winds and rain. Branches and cones, etc. were being blown out of the trees and were banging against the house and on the roof. Electricity and phone went out. As usual, I completely enjoyed the storm and being temporarily cut-off from our comforts and conveniences. Went back to sleep and had a dream: I am at a "seminar" in a big open room with lots of other people. A man who is talking comes over to me and asks if I will assist him. He is standing up, leans forward, laces his fingers together in front of him, making a "seat." He tells me to sit down, and when I do, he throws me, effortlessly, into the air. At first, I am startled, but then I completely relax and really enjoy it. He catches me and swings me up into the air repeatedly. I feel weightless, defying gravity. He throws me into back flips and summersaults. I am elated. When we are finished, people from the seminar rush up to say how beautiful it was and that they could never have done it -- never relaxed enough to do it.
15, 30C, 09:XX:XX
Terror, Violence, Abuse, Torture, Piercing, Arrows, Battle
Had a strong anxiety attack on waking early (4:30) and couldn't get back to sleep. Felt fine after showering and had a good day at work.
15, 30C, 04:04:30
Woke up suddenly, to a jarring telephone ring - I don't know if that set me off or if I should attribute it to the proving, but by 9:45, I was trembling. I felt it inside my body, like my chest was quaking. Mentally I felt anxious and I could not attribute it to anything else. It was as if I had gotten spooked. I could not stop trembling. Trembling continued until late afternoon.
23, 6C, 07:XX:XX
Begin thinking about my mother and the terrible abuse she subjected my twin sister and me to. Could not understand how a mother could inflict such cruelty and violence on innocent children. I cry and sob for hours.
15, 30C, 00:11:00
I still weep over the brutalities inflicted on my twin sister and myself.
15, 30C, 00:15:30
Since taking the remedy, I have felt removed from the pain, violence and terror of my childhood. It is a good thing, a distance, not a denial of the early part of my life. Also, I have had a deep feeling of responsibility for my twin sister, especially since preventing my mother from strangling her to death when we were 19 years old. Since taking the remedy, I have not felt the need to worry about her physical or emotional well-being. I don't feel it is my burden any longer. I love her and am concerned for her, but I realize the responsibility for her life and happiness lie with her.
15, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Suddenly I feel my necklace is choking me. My necklace is nowhere near my throat, however I remove it, and still feel like I am being choked by someone's thumb right on my gullet. It begins to distress me, and before I know it, I am ready to cry. My entire mood changes. The pressure on my throat lasts about 15 minutes. I suddenly began thinking about my father's death and I become very sad. I begin to feel sorry for myself, and I remained either teary or on the verge of tears for about 4 hours.
23, 6C, 07:XX:XX
My body felt weak and achy, as if I had been beat up.
23, 6C, 33:XX:XX
I feel totally abused. Prisoners don't get paid. Prostitutes do. I feel my body is being used. Tomorrow I'm going to antidote if this goes on. I was more fun being Leona Helmsley. I feel too much the abuse and suffering of all the women - the suffering!!
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
About 15 years ago I heard a holocaust story from a woman who'd been experimented on, hunger, electrocution. She learned to love them (her torturers) because she needed them to need her. I wrote a story about this that was published. I found it and read it.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
I recall the woman who was experimented on with electrical shocks. I feel abused. I've been experimented on - sex, starvation, electrical shock, all the same.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Pains in lower abdomen, bladder and pelvic floor brought me back to Holocaust experiences, experiments on women, uterus being pulled through the vagina without anesthesia. I had an aunt who was in Auschwitz. She was married to my uncle the day I was born. Now I have only the holocaust on my mind Éall day É all day, > after stool.
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
I dreamt that my teeth were being pulled out as punishment for something I had done.
05, 12C, 16:XX:XX
In a new bedroom in a new home. I am going to shower but first I have to figure out how the blinds on the windows work so that I won't be seen when I come back into the room.
06, 30C, 8:XX:XX
Being in a room, trying to get dressed but the windows are not covered so outsiders can see in. Window looks black - it's night.
06, 30C, 13:XX:XX
My sister and I were by these windows and this man had his face pressed right up against another window - like two windows away, opposite us - his face was squashed up against it and he was watching us / watching my mom. My dad was near another window and I waved to him and mouthed, "Check that guy out watching mom!" My sister and I were somewhat bothered by him, but we laughed as if to say, "Can you believe him?" Dad looked over at him and mouthed back to us, "He's just reading the meter." I looked back over to the man and said to my sister, "Oh yeah, he is." He looked kind of creepy with his face squashed like that. But I felt better. My sister said I had been tenderized, like she was agreeing with what my partner had said before we went to sleep about my mood - I was softer, mentally gushier.
23, 6C, 03:XX:XX
I dropped my book off of the bed and got so scared I jumped. I thought it was someone coming in through the window.
23, 6C, 04:XX:XX
I have an image of a white gash of energy in the back of my neck which is radiating out like a sun throughout my body (with head and neck pain).
05, 12C, 08:01:00
In regard to the various bladder symptoms she has been experiencing (bladder pain as if cold air penetrating through pelvic floor), she says that in her late teens and twenties she used to accompany her father to a pool in the mornings. It was unheated sea water. She would get a very cold back and then a cold, pulling sensation on the pelvic floor. "I want to close it to the environment, so nothing penetrates me."
09, 30C, 09:XX:XX
I had a wonderfully vivid sexual dream, in which I participated very aggressively. My partners were willing and enjoying themselves, but had they not been, the nature of my aggression would have defined my acts as rape. I awoke feeling refreshed, alert and anxious to take on the day.
19, 30C, 03:10:XX I told my partner I felt the remedy pierced my body inside my lip in order to enter me, like a demonic possession. 23, 6C, 03:XX:XX
I just have 2 images from different dreams of mechanical devices: one a type of drill made with a pine cone on an auger, and the other a self-propelled railroad car.
25, 30C, 06:XX:XX
Slept well. Had a dream: My head is on a pillow and I can smell my breath. It smells like curare (I have no idea what curare smells like). I start looking for arrows, and either find them, or have a good picture of them in my mind -- a small arrow, the shaft about a foot long, small in diameter, and the "arrow," a true arrow -- flat and triangular. I find four.
15, 30C, 13:06:XX
Wake up with horrible dream. Police incapacitates my dogs by giving them a "shot" of epileptic substance on the beach, because the dogs cross the "line" of the leash law zone like they catch drivers on.
09, 30C, 17:XX:XX
Last night I dreamt I was on a road trip with my Irish friends L. and R. We pulled into a parking lot to get some breakfast. As we were driving past a grocery store, I noticed that there were two men with guns standing at the door, just about to attack some people coming out. I told R., who was driving, that they had guns and to keep going. Instead, he stopped the car and got out and started fighting with the "bad" guys. L. just sighed and scooted into the driver's seat and drove on to the restaurant. When we got there, we noticed that people were fighting throughout the parking lot. There was a fight on the stairs to the restaurant, and I threw some water on the fighters. Unfortunately, I got the innocent person wet. I asked her what I could do to help, and she asked for some tea, so I got her some.
05, 12C, 10:XX:XX
From my neighbor's kitchen window, I see the neighbor, shaved, shining head. I see the scalp. Fantasy: I can see the bullet; the occiput is so pronounced, so inviting. It shines. I'll be accused if anything happened to him now if someone reads it. (She was visualizing shooting him and the bullet going in his head - they are drug dealers.)
09, 30C, 06:11:00
While in the hot bath, I felt in an altered state. I felt half awake and half dreaming. I literally found myself praying - just sort of welling up out of me, in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way. Songs like battle hymns were running through my mind. The songs were just running through my head - they weren't anything I had heard before. They seemed to be about having fortitude in battle, and praying for God's help to stick to the task. One song I recognized was the "Battle Hymn of the Republic". In the midst of this, what I can only describe as a mild delirium, one part of my mind remained objective and observing. The idea of "battle" kept coming up. I could barely keep my eyes open and was afraid I'd fall asleep in the water, or that something would catch on fire (there were candles burning in the room).
05, 12C, 08:XX:XX
I remember one detail of a dream. Someone had set off a bomb which blew a hole in a street. In the morning my husband said he had dreamed 2 nights in a row that someone blew up our house.
25, 30C, 18:XX:XX
Everything is a struggle - standing on your own two feet. The fighter in me has been subdued.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Trapped
Immobilized. Sat down in chair and felt completely immobilized, as though I were being held down, not physically, but body was immobilized.
06, 30C, 00:00:05
Irritability felt as sort of a "trapped" feeling - stuck in this place with people and not wanting to talk to or deal with them at all but having no choice.
19, 30C, 06:XX:XX
From the second I awoke I felt like a trapped little victim, not really able to settle in to the fact that I was going to spend all day with these two people and most of it would be spent in an automobile.
19, 30C, 08:XX:XX
Felt extremely trapped on the phone with proving supervisor. Felt agitated and trapped, felt angry. Wanted to escape the phone call and run free. I felt like a horse at the gate, like my whole system was sped up. Hung up and was so upset, angry, I had an anxiety attack - spent the next half hour feeling separated from my body, preoccupied by feeling caged up, suffocated, held down. Couldn't pay attention to what I needed to be following, but went through the motions. Felt my whole body trembling.
23, 6C, 00:19:50
I feel like a prisoner. My mind can't wander in sleep.
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
I want to be able to dream again, process things in my sleep. I can't sleep now, just like the electrocuted girl in the camp who simply let her mind wander, away from the suffering and fear of electrocution.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Things seem to be settling and I am letting myself relax. Or I am just trying to escape. Don't know which one.
18, 200C, 13:XX:XX
Also
From Proving:
Ricinus Communis
Castor Oil
Bursts and expressions of anger when things seemed out of control and then calm after.
andyh@mcn.org wrote:
--
Imagine Peace
from the Proving:
Taxux brevifolia - Pacific Yew
In the mind section, the following categories were created:
Calm.
This was one of the strongest themes in the proving. Provers used the word "calm" a lot, and it was expressed throughout the whole duration of the proving. Other words used were placid, casual, apathetic, relaxed, peaceful, flow and patient.
Calmness in time of danger, cancer, death.
The polarity of these themes is also very significant. In the face of danger and disease there remained a strong feeling of calmness. Three people dreamt of cancer, either having cancer or being with someone who had cancer. Even the person who dreamt he had cancer was calm in the face of this knowledge. Another theme that 3 provers had was being calm in the face of water — a storm, water coming into the house, and a rushing stream.
Terror, violence, abuse, torture, piercing, arrows, battle.
One prover had the idea of battles going through her mind when in a kind of altered state and a song that she recognized to be the Battle Hymn of the Republic. One of the coordinators also had a strange desire to listen to the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which is a traditional song in the USA.
There were many dark feelings of abuse, pain, violence and terror.
One prover, who had had many years of violent abuse as a child felt cured after the remedy. This prover also dreamt of arrows, which was highly unusual. The feeling of being pierced, of sharpness, penetration and cutting is a general characteristic, both physically and psychologically.
Another prover had many images and sensations about the holocaust. This was part of her family history. She experienced strong feelings of despair and torment on the remedy. The strong feelings of being abused and experimented on, especially in the regions of the ovaries and uterus were consistent of other provers as well.
There was a sense of power and aggression, and on the other side of being abused and a victim.
Rain, water, rushing, flow.
There was a distinct theme of water in the proving — water rushing, stormy, water coming in, water on the floor.
Calmness in time of Danger, Cancer, Death
I was not easily angered, or made anxious. I noticed this when I was stuck in traffic and late for a 5:00 meeting. I just didn't let it get to me. I was 45 minutes late for the meeting (I, as a rule, am never late). I just rolled with the punches.
18, 200C, 01:XX:XX
Not worrying about anything I have to do, but should be. Is it procrastination? (common to me) or just a "laissez-faire" way of doing things? More patient than usual. I actually avoided arguments due to the way I was handling things.
18, 200C, 02:XX:XX
My daughter witnessed a mugging today of a good friend and neighbor. While she was upset, I was calm and went and treated the boy with Arnica, helped the parents, etc. I was angry at the safety of our nearby street being violated.
18, 200C, 06:XX:XX
Calmer about my husband's situation, although tests are still being done ... and already he had a problem with the blood thinner.
18, 200C, 14:XX:XX
I'm feeling much more patient with my daughter. Had a confrontation with my mother, but I'm feeling calm and somewhat distanced from it.
05, 12C, 05:XX:XX
At daughter's school. A teacher was gossiping and bad-mouthing the school. I said something to her (not my usual thing to do), and then stayed there (also not my usual thing to do) to explain and explore the issue with her and the other teacher present. Unusual that I was feeling calm and self-assured in a situation that I would normally consider dangerous. The teacher I confronted in the dream is one who in real life said something mean about my daughter and I have been upset with her ever since (1-2 yrs. ago).
06, 30C, 01:XX:XX
At a lake with daughter. Waded into scummy water. She came along as asked. Then when we began to swim she disappeared under water. Looking for her but not panicked. Woke up from this dream.
06, 30C, 01:XX:XX
Dreamed I was at some sort of a crime scene and I could see the bad guys. I was only a little afraid. Then I found myself pursued and had to hide. I was somehow directing or in charge of the escape / hiding.
06, 30C, 02:XX:XX
In an academic environment, with my college roommate as a main character. I remember being on the school shuttle tram, with Drew Carey and my roommate. Although conversation was light, there was much discussion regarding cancer.
18, 200C, 01:XX:XX
Dreams! Ick! I had cancer! A kind of skin cancer - spots on my left shoulder and left pectoral. I was "marked". (People could see that he had this cancer - as if it were Kaposi's sarcoma - a feeling of not wanting to be looked at, did not want their sympathy. More about that and less about being concerned about the disease.) People were kind, but I hated that they knew I had it. I also remember being on the water, sailing on a large, raft-like vessel in the twilight. We docked at a point with lots of lights everywhere, soft and dim, like stars. People asked about the cancer and I wanted it to not be a part of our conversation. (In the dream, he was not worried that he had cancer, only that others may see it. He said he felt calm about it).
19, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Mom was dying of cancer and I was leading a group to that place (like a hotel), but not necessarily to see her. Mother's caregiver was very nice. She (caregiver) was sleeping in a hole in the ground. Mom was asleep with an oxygen mask on. I led the group out of there when the walls came crashing down. I told them it was "death". I was calm and in control of leading the group - not upset.
06, 30C, 19:XX:XX
With a group hiking high up in some hills and then getting into a wide, rushing stream of water and sliding head first down the river for a long way. Felt in control - even in the fast water.
06, 30C, 14:XX:XX
Water came into the house in three places. I was very calm and relaxed about it. Everything can be taken care of.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Woke to sound of strong winds and rain. Branches and cones, etc. were being blown out of the trees and were banging against the house and on the roof. Electricity and phone went out. As usual, I completely enjoyed the storm and being temporarily cut-off from our comforts and conveniences. Went back to sleep and had a dream: I am at a "seminar" in a big open room with lots of other people. A man who is talking comes over to me and asks if I will assist him. He is standing up, leans forward, laces his fingers together in front of him, making a "seat." He tells me to sit down, and when I do, he throws me, effortlessly, into the air. At first, I am startled, but then I completely relax and really enjoy it. He catches me and swings me up into the air repeatedly. I feel weightless, defying gravity. He throws me into back flips and summersaults. I am elated. When we are finished, people from the seminar rush up to say how beautiful it was and that they could never have done it -- never relaxed enough to do it.
15, 30C, 09:XX:XX
Terror, Violence, Abuse, Torture, Piercing, Arrows, Battle
Had a strong anxiety attack on waking early (4:30) and couldn't get back to sleep. Felt fine after showering and had a good day at work.
15, 30C, 04:04:30
Woke up suddenly, to a jarring telephone ring - I don't know if that set me off or if I should attribute it to the proving, but by 9:45, I was trembling. I felt it inside my body, like my chest was quaking. Mentally I felt anxious and I could not attribute it to anything else. It was as if I had gotten spooked. I could not stop trembling. Trembling continued until late afternoon.
23, 6C, 07:XX:XX
Begin thinking about my mother and the terrible abuse she subjected my twin sister and me to. Could not understand how a mother could inflict such cruelty and violence on innocent children. I cry and sob for hours.
15, 30C, 00:11:00
I still weep over the brutalities inflicted on my twin sister and myself.
15, 30C, 00:15:30
Since taking the remedy, I have felt removed from the pain, violence and terror of my childhood. It is a good thing, a distance, not a denial of the early part of my life. Also, I have had a deep feeling of responsibility for my twin sister, especially since preventing my mother from strangling her to death when we were 19 years old. Since taking the remedy, I have not felt the need to worry about her physical or emotional well-being. I don't feel it is my burden any longer. I love her and am concerned for her, but I realize the responsibility for her life and happiness lie with her.
15, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Suddenly I feel my necklace is choking me. My necklace is nowhere near my throat, however I remove it, and still feel like I am being choked by someone's thumb right on my gullet. It begins to distress me, and before I know it, I am ready to cry. My entire mood changes. The pressure on my throat lasts about 15 minutes. I suddenly began thinking about my father's death and I become very sad. I begin to feel sorry for myself, and I remained either teary or on the verge of tears for about 4 hours.
23, 6C, 07:XX:XX
My body felt weak and achy, as if I had been beat up.
23, 6C, 33:XX:XX
I feel totally abused. Prisoners don't get paid. Prostitutes do. I feel my body is being used. Tomorrow I'm going to antidote if this goes on. I was more fun being Leona Helmsley. I feel too much the abuse and suffering of all the women - the suffering!!
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
About 15 years ago I heard a holocaust story from a woman who'd been experimented on, hunger, electrocution. She learned to love them (her torturers) because she needed them to need her. I wrote a story about this that was published. I found it and read it.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
I recall the woman who was experimented on with electrical shocks. I feel abused. I've been experimented on - sex, starvation, electrical shock, all the same.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Pains in lower abdomen, bladder and pelvic floor brought me back to Holocaust experiences, experiments on women, uterus being pulled through the vagina without anesthesia. I had an aunt who was in Auschwitz. She was married to my uncle the day I was born. Now I have only the holocaust on my mind Éall day É all day, > after stool.
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
I dreamt that my teeth were being pulled out as punishment for something I had done.
05, 12C, 16:XX:XX
In a new bedroom in a new home. I am going to shower but first I have to figure out how the blinds on the windows work so that I won't be seen when I come back into the room.
06, 30C, 8:XX:XX
Being in a room, trying to get dressed but the windows are not covered so outsiders can see in. Window looks black - it's night.
06, 30C, 13:XX:XX
My sister and I were by these windows and this man had his face pressed right up against another window - like two windows away, opposite us - his face was squashed up against it and he was watching us / watching my mom. My dad was near another window and I waved to him and mouthed, "Check that guy out watching mom!" My sister and I were somewhat bothered by him, but we laughed as if to say, "Can you believe him?" Dad looked over at him and mouthed back to us, "He's just reading the meter." I looked back over to the man and said to my sister, "Oh yeah, he is." He looked kind of creepy with his face squashed like that. But I felt better. My sister said I had been tenderized, like she was agreeing with what my partner had said before we went to sleep about my mood - I was softer, mentally gushier.
23, 6C, 03:XX:XX
I dropped my book off of the bed and got so scared I jumped. I thought it was someone coming in through the window.
23, 6C, 04:XX:XX
I have an image of a white gash of energy in the back of my neck which is radiating out like a sun throughout my body (with head and neck pain).
05, 12C, 08:01:00
In regard to the various bladder symptoms she has been experiencing (bladder pain as if cold air penetrating through pelvic floor), she says that in her late teens and twenties she used to accompany her father to a pool in the mornings. It was unheated sea water. She would get a very cold back and then a cold, pulling sensation on the pelvic floor. "I want to close it to the environment, so nothing penetrates me."
09, 30C, 09:XX:XX
I had a wonderfully vivid sexual dream, in which I participated very aggressively. My partners were willing and enjoying themselves, but had they not been, the nature of my aggression would have defined my acts as rape. I awoke feeling refreshed, alert and anxious to take on the day.
19, 30C, 03:10:XX I told my partner I felt the remedy pierced my body inside my lip in order to enter me, like a demonic possession. 23, 6C, 03:XX:XX
I just have 2 images from different dreams of mechanical devices: one a type of drill made with a pine cone on an auger, and the other a self-propelled railroad car.
25, 30C, 06:XX:XX
Slept well. Had a dream: My head is on a pillow and I can smell my breath. It smells like curare (I have no idea what curare smells like). I start looking for arrows, and either find them, or have a good picture of them in my mind -- a small arrow, the shaft about a foot long, small in diameter, and the "arrow," a true arrow -- flat and triangular. I find four.
15, 30C, 13:06:XX
Wake up with horrible dream. Police incapacitates my dogs by giving them a "shot" of epileptic substance on the beach, because the dogs cross the "line" of the leash law zone like they catch drivers on.
09, 30C, 17:XX:XX
Last night I dreamt I was on a road trip with my Irish friends L. and R. We pulled into a parking lot to get some breakfast. As we were driving past a grocery store, I noticed that there were two men with guns standing at the door, just about to attack some people coming out. I told R., who was driving, that they had guns and to keep going. Instead, he stopped the car and got out and started fighting with the "bad" guys. L. just sighed and scooted into the driver's seat and drove on to the restaurant. When we got there, we noticed that people were fighting throughout the parking lot. There was a fight on the stairs to the restaurant, and I threw some water on the fighters. Unfortunately, I got the innocent person wet. I asked her what I could do to help, and she asked for some tea, so I got her some.
05, 12C, 10:XX:XX
From my neighbor's kitchen window, I see the neighbor, shaved, shining head. I see the scalp. Fantasy: I can see the bullet; the occiput is so pronounced, so inviting. It shines. I'll be accused if anything happened to him now if someone reads it. (She was visualizing shooting him and the bullet going in his head - they are drug dealers.)
09, 30C, 06:11:00
While in the hot bath, I felt in an altered state. I felt half awake and half dreaming. I literally found myself praying - just sort of welling up out of me, in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way. Songs like battle hymns were running through my mind. The songs were just running through my head - they weren't anything I had heard before. They seemed to be about having fortitude in battle, and praying for God's help to stick to the task. One song I recognized was the "Battle Hymn of the Republic". In the midst of this, what I can only describe as a mild delirium, one part of my mind remained objective and observing. The idea of "battle" kept coming up. I could barely keep my eyes open and was afraid I'd fall asleep in the water, or that something would catch on fire (there were candles burning in the room).
05, 12C, 08:XX:XX
I remember one detail of a dream. Someone had set off a bomb which blew a hole in a street. In the morning my husband said he had dreamed 2 nights in a row that someone blew up our house.
25, 30C, 18:XX:XX
Everything is a struggle - standing on your own two feet. The fighter in me has been subdued.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Trapped
Immobilized. Sat down in chair and felt completely immobilized, as though I were being held down, not physically, but body was immobilized.
06, 30C, 00:00:05
Irritability felt as sort of a "trapped" feeling - stuck in this place with people and not wanting to talk to or deal with them at all but having no choice.
19, 30C, 06:XX:XX
From the second I awoke I felt like a trapped little victim, not really able to settle in to the fact that I was going to spend all day with these two people and most of it would be spent in an automobile.
19, 30C, 08:XX:XX
Felt extremely trapped on the phone with proving supervisor. Felt agitated and trapped, felt angry. Wanted to escape the phone call and run free. I felt like a horse at the gate, like my whole system was sped up. Hung up and was so upset, angry, I had an anxiety attack - spent the next half hour feeling separated from my body, preoccupied by feeling caged up, suffocated, held down. Couldn't pay attention to what I needed to be following, but went through the motions. Felt my whole body trembling.
23, 6C, 00:19:50
I feel like a prisoner. My mind can't wander in sleep.
09, 30C, 10:XX:XX
I want to be able to dream again, process things in my sleep. I can't sleep now, just like the electrocuted girl in the camp who simply let her mind wander, away from the suffering and fear of electrocution.
09, 30C, XX:XX:XX
Things seem to be settling and I am letting myself relax. Or I am just trying to escape. Don't know which one.
18, 200C, 13:XX:XX
Also
From Proving:
Ricinus Communis
Castor Oil
Bursts and expressions of anger when things seemed out of control and then calm after.
andyh@mcn.org wrote:
--
Imagine Peace
-
Shannon Nelson
- Posts: 8848
- Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 10:00 pm
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Thanks Andy, that is intriguing. Do you have anything else about its homeopathic picture?
Thanks!
Shannon
Thanks!
Shannon
-
Shannon Nelson
- Posts: 8848
- Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 10:00 pm
Re: fear of deep water, or ?
Wow, thanks Lynn and Andy--I will definitely be exploring this one more!
Shannon
Shannon